hoback family musings.. by val

as this day draws to a close..

2011-09-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

.. I've decided I want to reflect. "out loud".

Every year, for the past 9 years, this date - September 11th - has a new meaning of for me. this year, it was all about my kids. specifically, my two girls: Abigail and Emmalin. My Abby & Emma.

Last night began the process of the education of remembrance for my girls about what "9/11" means for them.

I had just put the girls to bed and turned on the TV and it was on msnbc, where I found them replaying the as-it-happened broadcast of that Tuesday's events. It was the Today Show, exactly what I had watched on that day in 2001. I had an unexpected day off after a few very long days of travel and record company events. I slept in until about 8am and moved my large, 8 month pregnant (with Abby) self to the couch, and turned on the TV. And I didn't leave that spot all day (except for, I'm sure.. many bathrooms trips, being as pregnant as I was).

Cut back to last night.. I put the girls to bed, and they were immediately up and out of bed needing something or other. They inquired about what I was watching.. and I thought "ok, here it is. it's never been the exact right moment to teach them about this. and this is the moment." I embraced it.

I had them sit down with me and explained to them that what I was viewing was EXACTLY what I had watched that very morning. They were transfixed. It was as if they could finally understand everything that had happened..they weren't just hearing about it.

And so we watched. And the questions started coming from them. And I answered each one.

The one question that stuck, that I'm still answering for them, is "what did we ever do to them that would make them want to do this to us?" This will continue to be answered as tomorrow we watch The West Wing episode entitled 'Isaac & Ishmael' - which I highly recommend! I have always said that someday I want my kids to view that particular, perfectly Aaron Sorkin penned certain show - and now that day is here.

But the biggest statement of the night came from my Abby:

"Even though I wasn't even born yet, this just makes me angry. But it makes me angry enough to show the world more love so more people don't hate us enough to do this. So many people shouldn't have to be sad ever again"

I think therein her statement lies the true legacy of our 9/11 tragedy. Angry at those who did this, a stronger passion to show love, and such great sympathy for the sadness that was brought upon.

how to make a great "FRUIT BREAD"

2011-08-12T14:13:00.000-07:00

After many months of experimenting and trying to come up with the perfect standard recipe for a fruit bread (or even carrot bread) - 1 recipe that could be interchanged with almost any kind of fruit.. I've got it. And I wanted to share it so "the rest of the world" can bake and enjoy as well!

Here it is:

FRUIT BREADS

2 cups flour (I prefer whole wheat flour or white whole wheat flour, but all purpose white works too!)
1/2 cup sugar (Stevia or Truvia is great as well)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/8 tsp Kosher salt
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp vanilla
2 tbsp of flaxseed meal (optional, but what a great way to get your good flaxseed in!)
2 cups of very ripe/mashed/softened fruit
1 egg - beaten
2 tbsp butter - melted
1/2 cup of raisins or nuts (this is optional, depending on your tastes..)

Mix together flour, sugars, salt, cinnamon, and baking soda.

Put softened fruit in a large bowl.

Add beaten egg, vanilla, and melted butter. (Stir in raisins or nuts at this time.)

Add this to the dry mixture a small portion at a time until fully mixed.

Pour into a 9x5" greased loaf pan THEN LET STAND FOR 20 MINUTES.

Bake at 350 for 45-55 min.

Cool bread in pan for at least 15 min

ENJOY!

this is for you, Jessica Polston. :)

2011-02-05T04:28:00.001-08:00

I have writers block. But it's coming.. it is coming... :)

SURPRISE! IT'S A BLOG!!!

2009-07-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

.. and if you ever wondered anything, here is "EVERYTHING ABOUT ME":

Do you cry a lot: sometimes
Do you make people angry: try not to
Do you like who you are: yes
Do you like the cold: always
Do you like the heat: rarely
Do you like to walk in the rain: usually
Do you have any one in mind that you want to walk in the rain with: indeed
Do you like expensive things: only if they're on clearance
Do people asking you too many questions in a row bother you: depends on the questions. :)
Why?: because.
Do you like cameras: as long as they aren't taking pictures of me.
Do you like taking pictures: yes. but I'm not good at it.
Do you like looking up at the stars: as often as possible!
Do you like puzzles: sometimes
How about word searches: yes. but I don't often do them.
Do you like coloring: YES
Do you want to move: YES
If yes where do you want to move to: I gotta go West young man...
How come: because it calls to me..
Do you think the one you love is taking you over: been there, done that.
Do you want to die: when it is my time.
Do you smoke: no. literally can't do it.
Do you drink: lots of things. :)
Do you like swimming: LOVE IT!
Do you like the ocean: it is my absolute happy place.
Why: I love water.
Do you like funerals: sigh. I mean, who really does?
Are you morbid: depends on the topic.
Do you think you are smart: and that would depend on how you define "smart"
Do you want to go to college: been there, done that. do it again? idk...
Do you have a job: more or less.
Do you like it: uh.. yeah. :)
Do you get along with your boss: I almost always do. :)
Do you get along with your parents: sometimes. (I know, at 35 shouldn't this answer be "yes"??)
Do you have any siblings: i do.
Do you get along with them: mostly!
Do you have any animals: not at this time.
Do you believe in magic: YES
Do you have your own room: I do. it's sometimes shared with Jason, sometimes Emma, sometimes Wyatt. sometimes just me. that's the way we roll here at the Hoback casa.
Do you do your own laundry: yes
Do you want to get married: I didn't want to, but then I did! :)
Do you want kids: I didn't want to, but then I did! :)
Do you like doing surveys: sigh. yeah, I do.
Do you like clowns: yeah. what's the big deal with them?
Do you like cheerleaders: if they are nice.
Do you like preps: if they are nice.
Do you like going to the beach: it is literally my favorite thing to do
Do you hear voices: always
Do you see dead people: I really don't..
Do you like to blow bubbles: yup!
Do you like unicorn horns: not really..
Do you like candy apples: nah..
Do you like cotton candy: nah..
Do you enjoy fairs: sure.
Do you like playing with fire: literally, no. figuratively, yes! :)
Do you like to go to the mall: no
Do you believe in free will?: heh heh.. yeah.
Where do you see yourself in 2 years?: only time will tell.
Do you follow the rules or make your own?: yes I do.
Do you work?: yes I do.
Do you like to work?: yes I do.
Do you want to get married?: again? :)
Do you want kids?: more. yes. :) will I? hmmm....???
What age do you want to get married at?: I got married at 26.
What age do you want kids at?: I had a kid at 27.
Do you care about the environment?: always

Cinco de Emma

2008-06-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

today on the 5th of June, our Emma turned 5 years old!

Here are a few highlights from her special day!

She went to the Vacation Bible School that she's been attending this week, where the puppet show people apparently put on a big "happy birthday" song & dance for her!

Then it was off to the lake beach for an afternoon of swimming...

.. with her friends (L-R) Chloe, Corinna, Christiana, her sister Abby, and Cate (not pictured)

everyone enjoyed her favorite pink cupcakes at the beach today..

Abby helped me put together a little home celebration for her this evening..

..balloons, her favorite pink mini roses, and a bag of goodies/stuff she loves because her big present (a pink digital camera of her very own) has not arrived in the mail yet (got an amazing deal on it but it takes like 3 weeks to get here I guess!)
..of course she got lots of cooking stuff in her bag of goodies..

and a container of her favorite snack (that she is only allowed to have every once in a while..)

and this fluffy, green boa that Abby picked out for her..

In true Emma fashion.. the little chef that she is.. she made her own cake. Everything but put it in the oven, and taking it out. She even decorated it herself!!

..and here she is, ready to blow out her candles!!

We had a lovely day of celebration with our 5 year old.. who we are pretty sure is gonna change the world in some great way.. someday. or tomorrow. you just never know...

the wild I'm into...

2008-05-30T22:08:00.000-07:00

yeah yeah yeah.. haven't blogged in a long time. look for a big "catch up" blog in a day or two.

So tonight Jason & I got the kids to bed pretty quickly - that was unexpected - and decided to watch a movie together. He & I seem to have a hard time agreeing on what movie to watch, since we always seem to be in different "moods" for what kind of movie. As we browsed through the On Demand choices.. we eventually gravitated back to one that we knew we both liked.

And Into the Wild we went. (If you don't know the story.. follow the links.)

Now, the book by Jon Krakauer is hands down my favorite book, ever. I've read it over & over.. and it inspires my life every time I read it. I've read it 7 times. Six of those times were before I was married. The 7th was after I was married, but before I had children (I was pregnant with Abby.. yeah, it's been a while since I read that book!)

All those times, it inspired me to want to just grasp all that life has to offer. That's not to say I need to set out on my own Alaskan adventure, but just not allow any experience I want to have fall by the wayside, to make sure I do it. To always strive to step out of my comfort zone and experience something new. And back in the day, I really tried to live my life that way.. as much as I was capable. And though my circumstances have changed - and I'm a bit of, well.. a lot of.. a dud these days, I still subscribe to that ambition. It's still there.. and I've got a lot of years ahead of me God willing... to keep moving out of my comfort zone and having some great adventures as well.

But the movie affects me in a different way. The movie, in my opinion, brings to light in a way the book doesn't the struggle that Chris McCandless' parents went through.. and how his parents molded & shaped Chris/Alex into needing to go to such an extreme to be who he was.. to learn to trust, and learn to live.

The book inspires me as a person.. but the movie inspires me as parent. I so much want my children to ALWAYS feel safe & secure in being who they are, and make sure that I as their mother (& Jason as their father) are always in support of them living to be the being they were created to be.

That Abby & all her fantasy.. concerns.. and care for people will be directed into her being the tender soul that she is, and changing people's lives through it. That Emma & all her energy and the way she EMBRACES new things.. will be directed into her being that person who very well could "change the world" in a big way. And Wyatt.. for whatever he develops into.

I know who my kids are, and I need to make sure that THEY know who they are. I want to be the parent that shares in their adventure, as they are discovering it.. planning it.. achieving it. All the while - with enough distance for them to feel like they are making their life happen for themself. I want to make sure that they stay wild.. and be the person who helps take it in the right direction.

While some people say that Chris was searching for himself, his sister Carine says that's not true. "Chris knew exactly who he was. He was searching for a place in this world that he fit into, where he could be true to himself. He was searching for truth, purity, honesty. He was searching for the things that he didn't experience in his childhood."

I need to make sure that my kids DO experience those things in their childhood!

.. and God willing.. and only with His help.. this is what I will strive to do as a parent. To train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old.. he will not depart from it.. or from me.

It is the experiences, the memories, the great triumphant joy of living to the fullest extent in which real meaning is found. - Christopher McCandless / Alexander Supertramp

A picture tribute to the man...

Here is Chris McCandless, a few months into his journey in late fall 1990
August 1991.. over a year into his journey, 1 year before his death. He has now completely left behind Christopher McCandless and fully become Alexander Supertramp.
The bus. The real bus. It is still there to this day, although there has been talk by the Alaskan Tourism board about needing to remove it because of too many pilgrims coming there, and their safety was in question. Before the movie came out, about 100 people would visit this bus each year. Since the movie came out last year, about 1,000 people have visited.
The last photo of Alex/Chris alive, taken a few days before his death. He is perched with his bus.. his home.. his sanctuary.. his resting place.
A plaque has been placed inside the bus in his memory, and to honor him...

how do you know?

2008-04-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

How do you know when you've got a really wonderful father-in-law?

When that father-in-law comes over to cut your yard for you because the man of the house is very sick. And this after he has cut his own yard and done a host of other tiring things already.

Thank you Scott! You take such good care of our little family, in over abundance!!

How do you know when you've got a really good friend?

When that very tired friend along w/ her very tired husband bring you a craved iced coffee at 11:30pm.

Thanks Victoria & Ethan! You two are amazingly kind to me! All the time!

And why am I drinking what is about my 5th coffee today at midnight? Well, my man.. my precious Jason, is sick sick sick. I mean, like really sick. So far the meds have not helped, he only seems to be getting worse. And truth be told, I'm a little scared. And being paranoid since I just read that Cameron Diaz's father died unexpectedly of pneumonia.. like, just a normal case of it. So I'm keeping myself awake, making sure he's still breathing & all. That may be a little extreme, but it's just what I feel I need to do right now. And hoping that things are different in the morning. If not, we'll head back to the doctor I suppose.

And so.. I enjoy my iced coffee. And a little Frasier rerun I found on Lifetime.. a channel I seem to be watching more & more of lately! And I have to wonder what that says about me...

unexpected information..

2008-04-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

ok.. so here's the short of it.

THURSDAY: had a vet visit with the puppy. Found out that it's a GIRL (with an enlarged who-ha, which is why we all though she was a he. Her name will still be Tabor.

Did not expect that information at the vet, but it is what it is.

FRIDAY: Jason, who has been very sick all week.. and not getting any better, went back to the Dr. today. I honestly was thinking that he had bronchitis, or some sort of inner ear/viral thing. Nope. My man has the big old pneumonia. Big time pneumonia. He is on some good meds now, and is hopefully on the road to recovery.

Did not expect that information at the Dr., but it is what it is.

Tonight Emma & I watched "Enchanted" together. Abby had to go to bed early and could not watch it with us. This was a choice she made when she chose to directly disobey. Check me out.. I was the tough parent tonight. Anyway, E. & I had a great time together. It's so funny when Abby & Emma watch "love stories". They both love them.. but Abby, who is the prissy one - says "EEWWW Yuck!" whenever there is kissing, etc. But Emma, who is the girly tomboy one - says "AWWW Love!" and claps and cheers whenever there is kissing. All that to say.. Emma is a really fun person to watch a love story with!! She gets so excited and so into the emotions that the characters are feeling. It's so pure. So inspiring.

And now comes the weekend... who knows what it will hold.

I heart our dog!!!

2008-04-23T21:38:00.000-07:00

Tabor is awesome. He is fun, sweet, loving, playful, obedient (learning this, but doing well with it).. and just an all around GREAT dog for our family.

He seems to like to hang out in the backyard during the day, and follows me around (like a puppy! ha!) inside the house at night. He's just cool.

Tonight he fell asleep on top of a pile of all things Wyatt - his diapers, his blanket, and his Mickey Mouse. They are truly little buddies..

(I had to snap the photo w/ my cell phone, and the lighting was poor.. but you get the "picture").

Tomorrow is our vet visit with him. I'm excited to hear what the doc has to say about our little pup. Hopefully it's nothing but good things, because we really, really love him!!!

catch me if you can...

2008-04-22T19:53:00.000-07:00

I've taken a break from my new life of "survival mode" to become a little more busy these days.. it's been "catch me if you can".. this is probably how my friends have been feeling lately, as well as blog readers. I'm trying to slow down and "be caught" this week, so I thought I'd do a little catch up with the blog as well. It's a nice way to look back on and reflect what's been happening in life.

Last week was quite busy with various school projects, some sickness, some fun times.. but the most IMPORTANT thing was a very special - and unexpected - event!

Tuesday Jason came home early from work (it was actually because I had lost my last contact that morning and an emergency trip to the eye dr. had to be made) and we went down to the park by the river for some play time in the grass, rolling down the hill, and on the playground there. It was a super fun time.. here is Jason & Wyatt from those moments..

My BFF Jodi and her daughter Anna met us at the park, we hung out for a while, and then headed off to get some dinner together at Santa Fe, a family favorite. We had a really, really good time together. Eventually we all went our separate ways, back home. Jodi, who was due with her 2nd child in 3 weeks - made some plans with me to do some more "baby prep" stuff later in the week.

EARLY Wednesday morning I got the call - Jodi's water had broken at 3:30am! She was at the hospital, and at 1:42pm on Wednesday her son came into the world. Ladies & gentleman..
Michael Josef Gutzmirtl...

...isn't he precious??

So, that gave the week a different but very exciting turn! It turned out that we also had some other friends - Trae & Kelly - who's son Rocco was born (5 weeks early) on Wednesday as well! So there were lots of friends to visit at the hospital!

Included in the fun of last week was a lovely morning coffee break at Jessica's, the wedding of Victor & Krista (completely gorgeous!), time with some friends from Lancaster, PA who are in town for GMA (yeah Mindy.. Anita.. so fun!) - and the uh, the birthday party for Wyatt of course!

Grandma came in for the weekend so the girls had a blast visiting with her! On Sunday after church & lunch we went to the park by the lake and just had a lovely time romping around together. Here's some photos from that fun:Wyatt & his daddy had a lot of fun together...

There is one other thing to share. On Friday when we got home from school pick ups the girls got out of the car and went immediately around the side of the house to our backyard through the gate. They came running back a moment later asking if I had gotten them a dog. Seconds later, this tiny & precious creature came bounding behind them.

We played with him for quite a while and all of us had so much fun with this precious little black lab puppy. He was eventually set free to find his true owners (surely he must have them).. but he returned to us. Long story short - some now ex-neighbors (who don't speak much English, I guess we'll put it that way..) bought this 10 wk. old pup and then realized they were moving and couldn't take the dog with them, and kept trying to "give" him to us.

Well, we tried to find another home for him. He actually got out of our fence again last night. (we finally figured out how he's getting out and fixed that problem). Jason announced this morning that if he came back, we could keep him. Emma immediately said "I'm gonna go look for him!" and opened the front door.. to find that little pup sitting right there. Perhaps a sign? Who knows.. but we sure do love him, and he seems to love us! He's a puppy through & through, but he's seems to just want to be with us and be in our family. So, I guess we have a dog.

Ladies & gentleman.. meet Tabor. (named for the great Ty Tabor from Kings X) with his new BFF Wyatt!

So, that's the news..

our girls.. oh how the YEARS have gone by..

2008-04-22T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hey folks..

Shauna Jared - the great chic who took the newborn photos of Wyatt - wanted to do some of the girls recently. Even though Emma was crying part of the time, and Abby wouldn't cooperate the other 1/2 of the time (typical..).. she got some great photos. I thought you might like to see them. The gallery is up until this Sunday 4/28.

Go to www.shaunajaredphotography.com - click on "client proofing". The password is "girls".

Enjoy!

Oh how the year went by...

2008-04-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WYATT DAVIS HOBACK!

Today our little man turned 1 year old!

All the sayings/cliches are true... this year did fly by, it's hard to believe that it's been a year...

We threw him a big old Mickey Mouse party yesterday (Saturday). He had no clue what was going on of course.. except for the fact that Mickey Mouse who he loves was all over the place, but all the kids who were there had a FABULOUS time! Here's a few snapshots of the fun:

We played "Pin the Nose on Mickey Mouse" - check out the perfect Mickey Mouse face that my mom drew!! (yes folks, my mom did that all on her own!!

Here is Corinna, Emma, and Abby with the Mickey Mouse noses on. Little Cate (on the left) was too cool to wear hers.. she had to let her beauty shine through!

We had a pinata! Here is Emma taking a crack at it:

...and Corinna taking her whack at it

Once the pinata was broken the kids were like ravenous dogs collecting all the goodies inside!

Then it was time for CAKE! Here was Wyatt's own little personal cake.. his first ever!

This is what he did after we sang to him and sat him in the high chair to eat it.. yup.

But he eventually calmed down and experimented with the cake a little bit. Here's some video:

Here's our little guy.. exhausted, and covered in cake...

I was wondering as it happened why we threw such a huge party for a 1 year old.. but looking back through the pictures and other videos, I'm SO glad that we did. It was a wonderful memory, and it will be an incredible thing to show to Wyatt once he is old enough to "get it". I think he will feel really special that we threw him such a great party to celebrate his first year of life!

My little baby boy is growing up...

(photo credit: Shauna Jared Photography)

laughter = best medicine

2008-04-11T22:47:00.000-07:00

Time for a little honesty. It, like laughter, really does a body good!!

So, a few years ago.. wow, like 5 years ago, I was blessed to become part of a Bunko group with some ladies at our church. It really helped me get to know some people a bit better and a few of those amazing women are now some of my best friends.

Anyway, our little group decided to take a break for the summer - last summer - and get it going again in the fall. The problem was, we never started back up until last night. Yeah, long fall!

I can't even begin to explain what a wonderful time it was, but I'm gonna try!

As I've mentioned a few times in this blog, I've just been pretty "off" ever since Wyatt was born. Part of it, I've come to realize, is that we just had a LOT happen to us last year. I can go into all those details another time... but I do believe that all of it took a toll on me, and now it has all caught up with me these last few months. I need to be honest about how I'm really doing (and bite the bullet and put it in this public forum) - I've really, really been fighting not just crawling into a hole for a little while. In some ways I have.

Well, last night's Bunko restart began with my friends Karla & Jessica stopping to pick me up to go to Debbie's house. I'm pretty sure from the moment we got in the car together, we started laughing. About any number of things, but just laughing. This was only the beginning. I think everyone in our little group was just SO happy to be back together again, after dinner we just kept talking & talking and never even played! It was actually 11:30pm till we left the house! And what did we do in all that time? Well, there were some moments of sharing, moments of serious chat, but more than anything.. we laughed. Laughed & laughed. But that was only the beginning. Once Karla, Jessica, & I got back into the car to head home - the laughing only continued. I honestly can't remember the last time I had laughed that hard. Jessica's sides actually hurt this morning from all the laughter, and so did mine!

Moral of the story: I woke up today feeling better. Not all better, but better. It felt like the cloud of gloom that I've been operating with had lifted a bit. I had ambition, felt positive energy, and just kind of felt more "sunny" than I had in a long time (despite the raging rainstorm outside!)

So my friends.. I believe that the saying must really be true - laughter REALLY IS the best medicine!

That said, I will accept any & all pain meds should the need arise for me to have them! :)

a very special event

2008-04-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

Tonight was Abby's first dance, and not just any dance. It was a Father/Daughter dance!! Jason got dressed up in his shirt & tie (or as Emma calls it, "work clothes") and Abby - in her brand new sparkely pink dress....

Here they are.. all ready for their big date!!!

..and a shot with both girls. Emma decided to show some shoulder & nipple - oops! (click on the photo to make it bigger if you want to see what I mean. don't worry, I covered it!)

One more photo before heading out..

In the car.. ready to go!

At the dance.. here is Abby with her friend Josie, who is in her class...

..and her big 4th grade friend Ally..

..and sweet Ally danced & dance with Abby.. check out the video:

no foolin' - I'm bloggin'

2008-04-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

Well.. it's April 1st. You may think it's a joke but I decided today would be a good day to start blogging again. The last month has been such a whirlwind it seems. Here's a quick recap:

* Had a fantastic time with my South African friend Meg. She left Nashville and headed to Dallas to visit friends there, and has since returned safe & sound to her country. Here is a picture of where she lives - this is George, South Africa.. on the coast. I hope to visit there someday. Oh, I do hope that I can.. someday!!

* We had a dog for ½ a second. Translated-24 hours. A precious German Shepherd pup wandered into Jodi’s backyard, and we decided to take her in. After MUCH discussion we decided to name her Kerze, which is German for “candle”. She was the most precious, sweetest, loving dog.. who also caused great allergy trouble for Wyatt & I. We returned her to Jodi’s house the next day, and a few days later her owners were found. So it all worked out in the end, more or less (turns out her owners aren’t the greatest of people). Here are a few photos of the dear Kerze pup:

* My Aunt Anne, Grammy, and Mom came to visit for the week during Spring Break. It was one heck of a busy week, but the kids had a blast and we did LOTS of shopping. Those ladies sure can shop till they drop - or at least till I drop. The week flew by fast and we had lots of fun.

Abby & Grandma

Emma & Grandma

* We had a lovely Easter weekend. (Photo credit: Krista Anderson)...

On Saturday it was the big Egg Hunt that our church sponsors at Two Rivers Park. The girls had a fun time collecting the eggs and hanging out with their friends there. Sunday was a beautiful service and then back to our house for Easter dinner of Baked Ham, homemade mac & cheese, green bean casserole, and other fixin's. Our brother in law Gary came over with his kids/the cousins Kaylee & Caleb. We did another egg hunt and the kids had a great time running around our backyard. The girls & I spent the rest of the day dying Easter eggs and doing various other crafts together.

Here's some photos of the Easter weekend celebration. They kind of go in reverse of what I just wrote:

Easter egg fun with the Hoback girls:

Emma, Caleb, & Abby after the egg hunt at our house:

Kaylee, Wyatt, Abby, Caleb, & Emma.. getting ready to run out and grab all the eggs in our yard!

At the Easter Egg Hunt @ Two Rivers Park:

* As for the rest of the month.. I honestly don't know what's been happening other than the stuff of life. We've had some fantastic play dates, minor illness here & there, lovely trips to the park.. ya know, just life.. passing by all too quickly. I posted that I have been a stressed out mom. I have, for nothing specific other than just the stuff of life and wife-ing and mothering and living.

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but I am a person who actually LOVES the cold weather. I am drawn to cold climates (then why do I live in the South.. ha ha!). That said, I’m this year thrilled to bits that spring is almost here. Each week seems to get warmer and more pleasant, and the awful humidity of this climate hasn’t begun to really set in yet. I most happy about that! I love seeing everything beginning to bloom.. flowers everywhere, people out & about again, and being able to let the kids outside in their bare feet... if they so desire!

Though the days have been a little rough lately, at the end of the day I know just how blessed I am in so many ways. Here's a few reasons why:

Playing the back of the van while mom works in the garage:

Abby and her cute toothless grin:

Sisterly love:

Crazy Emma:

My blue-eyed Emma girl (photo credit: Victoria Pierce)

Our precious baby Wyatt.. who's baby-ness is slipping away daily:

Ok, as if you haven't seen enough pics of my kids.. if you care to see some more there are a few more "Spring Pics" on my myspace page, you can check 'em out there!

no matter what..

2008-03-31T20:36:00.000-07:00

... I LOVE THESE KIDDOS!

I'll be back soon...

2008-03-26T22:16:00.000-07:00

.. please stand by during my technical difficulties. :)

interview with a very cute girl..

2008-03-23T22:08:00.000-07:00

thought I'd go ahead and post this video. it is Abby interviewing Emma. Obviously Abby needs a few "filming" lessons, but it's pretty funny none the less. Something to cherish, especially when they are like 13 & 14 years old! :)

(excuse the messy house in the background.. stressed out mom here..)

blanco update..

2008-03-08T14:15:00.001-08:00

HIGH NOON: Abby & Emma playing in the snow...

4pm: Snow is (almost) all gone.. fun while it lasted!!

white stuff.

2008-03-08T05:24:00.001-08:00

Time: 7:30am Central Time

Snow Status: about 2-3 inches and still coming down, but slowly

ETA to Play time: about 1 hour.... :)

to the S-to the N-to the O-to the W !! .. & other shout outs.

2008-03-07T20:27:00.001-08:00

IT'S SNOWING!!!!!! Really snowing, more than it ever has this season so far! I'm so excited!!!

Check it out!

And some video:

Hoping, really really hoping - that there is a good amount of snow on the ground in the morning for the kiddos to go out and play!

In other news...

Having a great time with Meg and Janet, our South African friends. We spent a few days running around shopping.. they were having a WONDERFUL time soaking up all the great American sale deals we have here (I will never take those for granted!) - and I found a few deals as well!! They are in full conference mode right now so I haven't seen them, but probably will catch up with them tomorrow.

Wyatt is all over the place. I saw him standing on his own today (without holding on to anything) quite a few times. Next up: walking ... ok, I'm gonna be "that mom" for a moment. WHERE IS MY BABY?? But I am happy for him too.. he's at a super fun stage where he's beginning to communicate, and will play back and forth with you, and his personality is really emerging. I miss that little baby, but this little guy is pretty cool too!

Looking forward to the weekend. The kiddos have 2 birthday parties to attend, 1 on Saturday, and 1 on Sunday. The biggest event will be dinner with Ben & Jessica - Jason & I are having a semi-double date with them Saturday night, as Wyatt will still be with us but the girls will not be. But it's so rare that we do these kinds of things, I'm really looking forward to it, as well as getting to know Ben & Jess better too.

Time for my nightly bath. Meg brought me this AMAZING bath stuff from South Africa. It's called badedas - and I have found it on the internet and will be ordering it in the future when my ship comes in (it's ok to believe in that, right?). It is the most amazing bath experience. If you're into the bathing and the soaking, you should totally check it out!!

mayo pix...

2008-03-07T20:23:00.000-08:00

Here is Abby getting the Mayonnaise treatment last week:

really tired. but there are a few things to say...

2008-03-04T19:43:00.000-08:00

I've been silent the last few days cause I just haven't been all that well. I have good days and bad days, and the last few days have been painful & rough. Such is life. I'll take this over that awful flu, so know that I'm not complaining. Just learning how to be honest about how I really am, and how I'm really feeling. This is a big step for me. Anyway, I've also been trying to get caught up on some other writing projects I have in the can, and had to actually do a bit of concentrating on "real" writing and not my verbal blahs & vomits that this blog has become.

A few things to note:

* I received the most incredible - and unexpected - card from my Aunt Anne (pictured here with my sweet Grammy) in PA today. We've become quite close in the last few years, and she has been a complete blessing in my life. I have come to discover that we have SO much in common, and she has become someone I can truly talk to. I don't have many people like that in my family, so I am grateful to have "discovered" this relationship. Anyway, this was just one of those "I want to encourage you" make you sit down right where you are and cry emotional tears (which is exactly what I did) kind of cards. Love that.

* I have given up on keeping the dishes done, and keeping up with the laundry. As much as I try, they still just seem to pile up. I know this attitude won't fix anything, but as of tonight, this is what I have decided.

* I love my kids. They are crazy, frustrating, exhausting, and loud. But I love them.. and I can't believe how lucky I am to be the mommy of these incredible human beings.

* Tomorrow is a big day, because my friend Meg (see photo) who lives in George, South Africa will be arriving here in Nashville. We first met when we worked together at Glen Eyrie (see photo) in Colorado Springs, CO back in the late 90's (hate that I'm so old that I can say the late 90's). I moved on to TN land and she returned to South Africa, but she is coming "to the other side of the pond" (as they say) for a conference at the Opryland Hotel, which I live basically next door to. So I am going to get her at the airport and we are going to get to hang out a bit before her conference starts. It's very exciting!!! :)

* I thank God for unexpected friendships that come your way. God has blessed me with a new friend - the lovely Jessica Polston - and I love that my Father who knows me well has brought this surprise kindred into my life. I am a very fortunate chic that God gives me good friends, and in abundance!!

* That said, I have a lot of people in my life who I really miss. Most of them live here in Nashville with me, and it's been way too long since I've seen them. To those of you - you know who you are - I miss you and I hope we get to have some of that needed quality time, and soon!

* Lastly, a great man, musician, and pioneer of Jesus' message to our world went to Heaven where he belongs last week. The great Larry Norman. If you have no idea who he is, I encourage to learn about him. If you do know who he is, then I know you share my mixture of joy & sorrow. He was in a great amount of suffering in these last moments of his life, and it is wonderful to know that he is now in that Place of no more pain.

Blessings and Godspeed to you all...

it's all good.. more or less

2008-02-29T21:57:00.000-08:00

.. there is no full blown sickness happening (shocker, I know..) - but my precious little Emma had a migraine today. Poor thing, she was so miserable. I guess she has inherited that awful headache gene from me.

Hoping she'll be ok in the morning. It's supposed to be really nice this weekend, and she loves to be outside. Hopefully she'll be able to enjoy it!!

constant season.

2008-02-29T00:32:00.000-08:00

PREFACE WARNING: If you have not seen this week's episode of LOST, and you don't want any kind of spoilers at all, don't read on until you've watched it. Consider yourself warned, and I now wash my hands of whatever you choose to do next)

I am thankful that God has given me several really close friendships in my life. He gave me people when I needed them most. I miss some of them dearly, because God has chosen to move me on from the time and place of which they were in. Yet, God has provided new friendships. They are not the same as before, but they are also good. The different levels of friendships are interesting. What makes us so drawn to one person immediately and others it takes time and work to get there? I wonder this.

I have been blessed with some really wonderful, and very diverse friendships right now. The girls I have been charmed by as friends are truly amazing. Each relationship is just a little bit different and they are all unique in their own way. I treasure each one of them. I am thankful that God has put us together for this season.

A season - that is something I am coming to understand is a theme in my life. I have no control over when the season begins & ends. But my life has been - and will continue to be - full of seasons.

So, I was thinking about this in reference to my many and varied relationships... wondering what kind of season God has in mind for them. I am often taken back to a conversation I had with my friend Laura (who lives in Lancaster, PA). Laura has known me for a LONG time, and knows me to my core. (yet we are not really in touch anymore.. isn't that interesting). This was the time when I was in the process of moving back to TN from PA after Jason & I were married and Abby had been born. While that particular time was not a total positive, that short stint up there in PA did provide me with a few incredible relationships that have enriched my life, greatly. Some are still in my life, and some are not. Anyway, I was telling Laura how glad I was that I was able to be there for that short time, but wondering why God would move me on so quickly, or why He even brought me/us up there in the first place.

Her response: "That's just Val, that's just what you do. You go to a place for a while, affect people's lives, and then you go to a new place and do it all over again. That's just what God's plan is for you. That's just who you are."

I have recently been blessed to make some new friends - most notably the sweet Jessica Polston. On my way home from hanging out with her, and some other wonderful people in my life, I got to wondering how they will play into this apparent phenomenon in my life. Who am I supposed to be for them? Will I ever have to say goodbye to them?? Will we be friends forever, or is this just a season God has me in with these friendships? Only the future knows what changes or permanence is meant to be.

And as I was driving home - to my husband for our weekly LOST viewing date - a thought occurred to me for the first time: In all this change, in all these seasons.. God has given me an earthly constant. My Jason (and our children). Just one more thing to appreciate about the gift of this man that God has given me. He is my constant. He is my future. Now matter what season I am in, he (in some form) will always be with me.

I was thinking all of these EXACT thoughts. Minutes later, we watched LOST... which was all about - strangely, eerily - the past, and the future, and having a constant within it.

Spooky....

I love God's sense of humor, and the mysterious ways He communicates with us. What an incredible God I serve!

To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.

ecclesiastes 3:1-8

french fries, mayonnaise, and green beans...

2008-02-28T21:16:00.000-08:00

No, I won't be talking about eating the three of them together. (although I have heard of people eating fries & mayo together. ugh. yuck. but to each their own..)

Yesterday (Wed) morning was a particularly rough morning with the kiddos. Wyatt was just unhappy in every way, Abby was still home having not been released yet by the doctor to go back to school - and not happy about her situation (who can blame her), and Emma had a snow day. It had snowed the night before, and lots of flurries were still coming down, and it was just beautiful outside. But inside our house it was a nightmare. The kids were out of control, I couldn't get them calmed down even enough to let them play in the snow, and it was one of those mornings where I was seriously questioning why I ever enjoyed being a mother.

As I was driving across town to the Dr. for the 3rd time this week, I was really - admittedly - having a rough time. So far that day I had:

- cleaned up poop that had been dropped off a butt in the bathroom and drug by foot through the entire downstairs of the house, including over a pile of newly washed clothes
- cleaned the butt of the other child who didn't make it to the potty in time and pooped in her pants
- broke up about a dozen physical fights between the girls because Emma enjoys body slamming (usually while dressed in a Princess costume)

..those are just a few of the things that had happened. I kept thinking "why do people want to do this, be a parent. why would you choose to put yourself through it?". I was really struggling, and I even stopped and ate something that I haven't in such a long time - McDonalds French Fries. And boy were they ever delicious!!! This, my friends, is called emotional eating.

No sooner did we get out of the car at the Doctor's office than I got my answer on why I am a mommy, and why I really do love it.

I opened the door to get Wyatt out of the car, and he looked at me, gave me the BIGGEST smile, clapped his hands together and said "Ma!". That 3 second moment was worth all of the screaming that he had done so far that day. It was completely precious.

I turned around to head into the building with the girls, and found them walking towards it holding out their tongues so that they could catch the snowflakes on them. They walked all the way into the office like that.. tongues out, smiling and giggling, and enjoying the snow that was falling down upon them. Seeing them doing that, and just having such delight in the world, was worth all of the fights and poop that I had dealt with so far that day. It was completely precious.

We had a good doctor visit, though a few more nits were still detected. What a mess this lice thing has been! I now literally know where the term "nit picking" came from!! Anyway, we came home last night and did a mayonnaise treatment on her hair - it is supposed to be the magic bullet in lice treatment. Indeed it was!! Abby was not very happy about putting mayo on her hair, till I told her that this is what the movie stars do to get soft & fluffy hair (it's true, I saw it on E!). Once she knew that she was all over it, and wants to do it on a regular basis now. Go figure.. my little diva.

She was back to school this morning, and had a great day. All seems to be well in the world of her head. (Knock on wood...) I am just praying that we don't have to go through this again. It has literally been just awful. AWFUL.

And tonight for dinner - in hopes of canceling out the french fries I ate yesterday - I dined on some very delicious green beans. And boy, were they ever yummy.

a word about the Bucks...

2008-02-28T20:39:00.000-08:00

(Jason, this is for you)

I have something I feel the need to confess.

If you haven't yet picked up on this, I regularly support my local Starbucks. Not everyday, but a few times a week. And no, I don't count this as "buying local". Sigh.

Now 90% of the people who read this probably wonders why this warrants a confession. Well, if everything I believe in lined up with each other, than Starbucks should be my enemy. I realize that they are also the downfall of the needed local establishment. There are countless stories to prove how they (Starbucks) intentionally trumps the mom & pop coffee shop.

So because of this, I often avoided Starbucks, and only got my coffee there if no other options were available to me.

But finding myself in a new place in life - at home full time, in Donelson/Nashville, with pretty much Starbucks as my only option for a decent latte (sorry McD's you don't cut it), I stop a few times a week to get a little happy fix. Starbucks still annoys me on many levels - I think the regular coffee is awful, I think they are way overpriced (especially coming from someone who knows what the raw cost of a coffee drink actually is), the size names annoy me, and I hate their demoralizing of real espresso drinks (macchiatos are espresso & a dolop of foam - that’s it).

But here's the thing. I have 3 kids (usually in the car with me) and I need to avoid sugar, and the Bucks offers me convenient drive thru service and a host of sugar free options. Because of this, I find myself almost exclusively at the evil empire.

Yes, I support "the man" - otherwise known as Starbucks.

And I enjoy it.

I am so ashamed.

I have a new great love in my life...

2008-02-28T15:08:00.000-08:00

The Honey Latte at the Bucks.

Two words: Yum. Yum!

More calories than I'd like to have (160 for what I order) ...oh well, sometimes you just need to indulge.

More on the "indulging" later.. gotta get back to the laundry.

"Tall NonFat Honey Latte No Whip please..."

Wyatt in the high chair..

2008-02-26T21:27:00.001-08:00

Totally being the cheesy mom here, but I just thought these were too cute to not post. Thanks for indulging me. :)

all that I can say...

2008-02-26T20:56:00.000-08:00

I believe I've already done that over the course of my recent blog posts, so I'll just say these few things:

- I had a horrid conversation with the head office administrator at Abby's school on Monday. I was ready to wage war on all of the Metro School System after that.

- I had an overall pretty decent conversation with Abby's principal today. I was able to address a number of issues with her, one of which was the lice thing. Turns out the person I spoke with on Monday was the one who dropped the ball on that whole thing. No wonder she was so "kind" to me about it. hmm..

- Abby has not been back to school yet this week, and will not be until Thursday.. but they did inspect heads again on Monday and found FIVE children with lice, 2 of which were severe cases. Wow. that's all that I can say to that. Wow, and yuck.

- And now.. well, after more cleaning and washing and stripping and tossing, we can now only hope that our home and family are now able to say...
Please pray that this is the case!!!! This has been one awful thing to go through, in every aspect of it. I hope we never have to again. I have put the hedge of protection on the rest of us, and I am praying that none of us come down with it either. So far so good...

In other great news - it is SNOWING out tonight. There is just a light dusting of white, but we all know how much I love that!! I'll take anything! I snapped this from the front door:

Lastly - if you want to be inspired by some incredible people pictures, check out www.shaunajaredphotography.com - the fabulous photographer Shauna Jared. She took some AMAZING photos of our little Wyatt at our home when he was born - she gave us an amazing and kind free session in exchange for use of the photos. (below are a few of them from her website, and you'll see more of W. on her website too). I spent some time on her website and she is just so dang talented that it left me inspired to want to live my dreams. Perhaps it will do the same for you.

drained...

2008-02-24T22:28:00.000-08:00

I so don't have the energy to really write tonight, but I'll say a few things just to update.

Jason & I are drained & exhausted. We have been shampooing, spraying, cleaning, stripping.. (beds, not for each other), and reminding ourselves that even though we think we are itching that it really is only in our heads, not on, but in, as we have checked and re-checked ourselves. I'm just praying that Abby is truly cured and that it doesn't re-occur. I think that would send me to the mental hospital right now. And tomorrow morning will be my big chat with her principal.. hoping that all is received well and that I don't get tagged as "that mom".. ya know...

The house is getting the best cleaning it's had in a long time.. so I'm wondering if this is God's mysterious way of helping me get back to functioning where we need to be with this home of ours. Who knows. Trying to be optimistic as I move forward..

Lot's of exciting stuff to share, but it will have to wait for another time. DEAL WITH IT. :) ha ha... Gonna watch me some E! to chill before the crazy busy week hits me in a few hours, when the daylight of Monday occurs.

PUH-LEASE... a mother's freak out rant...

2008-02-23T20:16:00.000-08:00

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED: this isn't the happiest of blog posts...

as in PLEASE pray for us if you feel so led.

I'm not about to shave my head (even though I hate my hair right now), but I'm starting to understand - perhaps - the extreme emotions of freaking out that may have led Britney Spears to shave her head last year.

As if all the sickness was not enough, we discovered a major issue with Abby tonight. What I thought was her scalp psoriasis (poor thing inherited that from me) turned out to be head lice. This means our house will need to be turned upside again.. and oh gosh.. this is just GROSS GROSS GROSS to me. I just can't believe this. I already feel stretched to my limit right now, and now I have to deal with this.

And here is the other thing I am in need of prayer for. I know that this is the stuff of parenting. It is a part of life, and it happens.. to everyone (even at the expensive shi-shi poo-poo private school I used to work at). But in this case, apparently there could have been some warning, but there wasn't. When I told Abby what she had, she said that someone in her class had it and that they checked everyone heads LAST WEEK. There was NONE ZERO NO communication about this to the parents, as there absolutely should have been. Had I known there was a lice outbreak in her classroom, I would have been looking for this and not treating her for psoriasis when she actually had something else!!!!

Needless to say, I am MAD HOT FUMING over learning this, and it's a darn good thing that it's 10:30 at night and I can't call her principal right now (although I have 1/2 a mind to!!). Pray that when I do speak to her that I can have political wisdom and firm kindness so that my concerns are properly heard. Her teacher is now officially on maternity leave for the rest of the year, so I'm gonna make sure this principal does something about this.

The good news is that I found out today that a friend of ours from our church, who is also a phenomenal teacher and sub at Abby's school, is going to be the full time sub for the rest of Abby's year. This is SUCH an answer to prayer as there have been numerous problems in her classroom this year due to lack of proper leadership. Abby's teacher has had a very rough pregnancy and has been out quite a lot, but there has been a different sub in there all the time.. sometimes as much as 3 times a week. It's a mess!! But hopefully having our friend in there will bring some needed balance and consistency. I just feel so bad that she is going to have to deal with this outbreak on her first day. Pray for HER!!!!

There is another bright spot in all this.. Jason. It seems at the times when I am most stressed, most freaking out, most insane - that's when a calm seems to come over him. He has been incredibly helpful and reaching out to calm me. I thank God for this perfect match of a man that He gave me to bring me this balance when I need it most.

Ok, blog world.. thanks for letting me vent the latest "catastrophe"!!

UPDATE: Jason just told me that our master bath toilet overflowed everywhere. WHEN WILL IT END??????????????????????????????????????

ANOTHER UPDATE: It won't end. Emma just woke up with a fever. So minor, compared to everything though.

an orange legacy

2008-02-22T14:34:00.000-08:00

For some reason, Emma is under the impression that orange is my favorite color. I actually prefer red.. or maybe even sage green (for those who have seen my house, I'm sure you're sitting there saying "duh") - but whatever.. Emma thinks I LOVE orange, and you can't tell her differently, and therefore I just let her think this. (she also tells people that her 35 year old daddy is 46. And you can't correct her on that either!)

She is constantly coloring me orange pictures, finding orange objects for me, picking out orange things while we're out.. etc. etc. Her little color radar is keenly zeroed in on anything of that color persuasion, for no other reason than she believes that I love it.

For all that child's craziness, for all of her messes, for all of her over the top energy.. there in the midst of all that is this sweet heart that desires me to have that which (she thinks) I love. And she is always finding ways to give it to me.

I don't feel like I have - so far - passed on a whole lot of good traits to my kiddos. I mean, why should I think that they will keep their room clean when I don't keep my room clean?... right? :) And me teaching the girls the Britney Spears "Oops I Did I Again" dance one afternoon doesn't really give them a lasting Eternal stronghold to carry them through till they reach the Other Side (but we sure did laugh a lot and have a lot of fun that day!!)... But one thing that I really try to focus on in life is paying attention to the things that people like, and enjoy, and that speak to them.. and then making sure I make those things present in their life. Kinda like Emma does with me and the color orange. I have no true idea whether or not this is something she picked up from me or not. But the fact remains - I'm glad she has this trait, and it is truly a legacy that I think can be passed along as who we Hobacks are. At least that is what I hope!!!!

Jason & I joke that Emma is either going to change the world or kill someone. It's just a joke of course.. but reflecting on all this orange-ness.. perhaps she will have enough ingenuity in her to indeed change the world! ??? We can only hope!!

on the mend...

2008-02-21T12:39:00.000-08:00

we all seem to be a little better today. Jason went back to work and isn't feeling great but is managing. Wyatt is taking a long nap which means he really needs it, and will be feeling better when he wakes up. Abby is much better but I kept her home from school today just to be sure. And me.. I'm getting there. It takes me a little longer these days. Trying to get life back in order around here..

My precious friend Victoria (pictured here with the fabulous Corinna, her daughter. if you're a regular reader of this blog you know who Corinna is!) - well, she is bringing us dinner tonight, and this is totally humbling for me. I like to be the helper, not the one who needs help.. and especially to such a sweet soul as she is and her situation - 6 kids and pregnant with her 7th. I need to be bringing HER dinner. But I am grateful for her willing kindness to our little family tonight. A good meal will be much appreciated and certainly help us get back on track with balanced meals! Many thanks to you V...

thanks to all who said a prayer for us and our sickness. we appreciate it more than you know!!!

the vomit chronicles

2008-02-20T10:00:00.000-08:00

Well, it seems that our family can't get well for anything. Now that the cold/sinus issues have resolved themselves, it seems the stomach bug has hit us. Wyatt was throwing up all day on Monday, I started yesterday and continued to do so for another 24 hours - and the bulk of it came overnight last night when both Jason AND Abby were throwing up as well. It was a very long night for all of us.

I feel like I'm washing the sheets, blankets, and comforters on our bed nearly daily.. so my other laundry is horribly behind, and since Emma is the only one that isn't down for the count, of course she has worked her "trash the house" magic on our abode. So much for all the stuff I got done on Monday! I don't know how such a little person can create such giant messes. Anyway, she has been very helpful in taking care of all of us, which is so sweet. And she's loving it of course.

So, I'm just praying that this streak of illness will end for us, and soon. I feel like one or some of us have been sick since the beginning of 2008!!

72

2008-02-17T20:00:00.000-08:00

..that's how warm it was today in Nashville.

And tomorrow the high is supposed to be 37 with snow. Go figure.

But we had a great day. After church and some "cheap Chinese" we came home and Jason & I got to work on a lot of house projects while Wyatt pursued his newfound freedom by crawling
around everywhere. Luckily for now he is just more interested in getting from place to place and not getting into too many things. That will soon change though, I know. Perhaps even tomorrow. We also found him standing up in his crib this morning.. this was the first time. And all day he's now been pulling up to his feet, instead of just on his knees. Sigh.. I guess we're turning a corner with the little man. It's all good.. it's just happening so fast. Of course.

Anyway, this afternoon the girls worked on their gardening & planting outside and had a joyous time digging in the dirt and "land scraping" as Emma calls it. It was fun to watch them working together on their little outdoor projects.

We skipped church this evening and had a lovely dinner together as a family. All the kids went to bed like champs with no complaining, screaming, or "I need a band aid for my non-existent cut" issues... love that.

I'm actually having a lot of pain tonight, but my spirits are high because we got so much done today, and I really needed this feeling of accomplishment.

So, today.. coupled with our lovely trip to Bowling Green, Kentucky yesterday to visit our friends Terry & Dacia (see photo).. have made for a truly wonderful weekend. AND Jason is off tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to having one more day with him around. I kinda like him.. and enjoy having him around! :)

if you're looking for me, I'm not there...

2008-02-15T23:11:00.000-08:00

(... in oh so many ways!!)

Well, it came in the mail tonight... Country Living Magazine. Another reminder of all the things I'm NOT doing in life right now. Oh the drama! But let me explain...

I had shared with some of you how I was to have a small tidbit feature in Country Living Magazine this month (March edition) for the furniture rehabs that I have done. Well, I am not in it. And I'm terribly disappointed. It's my own fault though..

The mag people needed to come and do a little photo shoot with me last November, and it was during a time when I literally felt like all of my walls were crumbling around me. There were some major things happening with my health, and with Abby, and just life in general, and I couldn't handle anything, so it seemed.. and in a fit of overwhelment (yes, that is a word) I canceled the photo shoot - and kissed goodbye my opportunity to appear in this issue.

This situation is an exaggerated example of how I feel about my life these days. I'm just not there, I'm not myself. I have been having such a rough time "bouncing back" from my pregnancy with Wyatt. I just can't seem to "pull it together", and I'm feeling like a bit of a trainwreck these days. And more & more things in my life are falling by the wayside, and I just can't seem to get it all back under control.

I know that that the root of a lot of my issues stems from disappointment. I am pretty much always disappointed in myself. It is a vicious cycle for me. I feel like a constant failure in many areas of my life. I sin, feel disappointed, then sin again to help ease the feeling of disappointment and back again.

What's funny is.. I say all of this as if I don't know what the real answer is. But I do know. I'm just not really putting it into practice in my life. What seems so simple is incredibly hard for me to do. I make it Everest when it's actually just a hill.

I need to learn to really live in God's grace – I know that is the true cure for my issues. I want to really experience and accept His love in my life. I want to live like I really believe that He is enough. I think that disappointment really stems from trying to rely on myself, others or things to make me happy. I expect so many other things to give me satisfaction and be enough to make me happy. And once I am happy, I can pull it all together and be in control and keep everything going round as it should be. That is not enough. God expects us to need Him. Period.

And I do need Him, I am keenly aware of this fact. But I need to figure out the way that He can help fill the satisfaction, to overcome disappointments, to bring happiness. I know that. I can speak it to others, I can for moments believe it. But I want to live it everyday. I want to live every hour of the day like God is enough. If everything around me was taken away, that I would be content to live in that moment with God. That is the life I want.

And I also want to be in Country Living Magazine.. :) Perhaps someday, when I figure out how to not only "get" all this, but put it into practical practice. No doubt portions of the journey will be documented here!

Thanks for listening, blog world.

val day

2008-02-14T20:36:00.000-08:00

it's my day.. it's Val. Day.

I would just like to say one thing today.

I love this man, very very much!!!! :)

midnight tidbits.

2008-02-13T22:01:00.000-08:00

I made a discovery tonight that was too cute not to share.

I stayed up this evening trying to get caught up on stuff around the house. This place is in shambles after 24/7 of taking care of the very sick Wyatt. Despite working steadily for a few hours, I don't even feel like I've made a dent. But at least quite a few things have been done, and it's a head start none the less.

So, I was admittedly feeling a bit discouraged with all this - being so behind, how much there was to do... when I went into the girls room to look for something. What I found took away my discouragement and quickly replaced it with a chuckle of joy.

The top bunk, where Emma sleeps, was empty. The ladder leading to the top bunk was over against the wall by the closet:

There are extra blankets in the top of the closet. I guess Emma needed some extra blankets. Ok, whatever.. she found a way to get them herself. But I was really wondering where Emma was.. till I noticed that there was a cave of blankets on the opposite end of the bottom from where Abby was sleeping. I peeked into the little girl-made cave, and what I found was precious beyond belief:

There in the cave lie the bear. The Care Bear that is. Not only had Emma built a cave, but she had dressed herself in her Care Bear costume for the creative hibernation.

So yeah, my kids mess up the house. I can't keep up with them. There is so much to do for them, and some days I wonder if I will make it through this time in my life with any sanity intact. But seeing little Emma, and her sleeping creation.. well, it's that ingenuity, spirit, and uniqueness .. well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's totally all worth it!

To Jason, Abby, Emma, & Wyatt: I love you guys so much!!!!! I will keep trying to be the best wife/mommy I can be for you!!

SNOW!!!!!

2008-02-13T06:43:00.000-08:00

I love snow! For many people I know, snow is not a happy thing. I think that is mostly because they are afraid of driving in it. But thanks to my dear friend Bob (see photo.. isn't he a hottie?), who I call Bobby, who now goes by Rob - I know how to drive in it. Many years ago he took me out in the middle of snow storm in PA and taught me how to drive in snow. He was a great teacher, and I've had confidence in it ever since. This was a gift of knowledge and skill that I am forever grateful to him for!

So anyway.. I love snow. There is something so pure and refreshing about seeing a blanket of white outside, against the crazy white flurries coming from the sky.

There were quite a few upset peeps in our area today, as every county in Middle TN closed school EXCEPT for ours. And most of the Christian Schools were closed as well.. but Emma's was open. And let me say - as they should have been, because there was nothing on the ground in our area, only calls for snow. So both Abby & Emma headed off to school today. Thank goodness they are still too young to be upset about having to go!

Well, by the time Abby & I were headed to her school.. it was starting to come down. By the time I got back from dropping her off, it was REALLY coming down, and just starting to lay. I took a little video:

I then took this video only 10 minutes later. You can see how fast it is coming:

Is is possible we'll have a nice blanket of white by mid morning?? I can only hope!!! :) And Wyatt loves it. He's just been sitting by the window, staring outside in awe. It's so cute!

UPDATE: Well, as of mid morning.. this what we ended up with. It'll do! :)

exhaustion.

2008-02-12T21:59:00.001-08:00

one definition of "exhaustion" is: the total consumption of something. In this case that something would be me.

In the last month I have been totally consumed by sickness.. either mine own or someone in my family that I was caring for. The last few days the consumption has been Wyatt. The poor baby is on his third round of whatever it is that he has. He's been to the doctor, and the doc & I have been in constant contact on this sickness that will not end, but we just can't figure out why he isn't getting better. He's on meds, but they don't seem to be helping. Most recently he's had a high fever, a splotchy rash, and diarrhea (that's giving him major diaper rash). Poor thing is miserable.. and as much as I love him and of course would do anything for him, it has been exhausting taking care of him.

But here is the cool thing in it all: I've been spending nearly.. literally.. 24 hours a day holding him. (He's in his crib tonight for the first time in days.. I've been holding him in bed all night to keep him comforted). While this is indeed exhausting, I am also cherishing every moment of it. I am so, so, so in love with my little boy. How dumb was I to be worried about having a boy while I was pregnant. I remember my little mantra of those raging hormone pregnant days "what am I going to do with a boy?? I have girls!!". Well, God blessed me with a very cuddly little boy. And what I am doing with him - at least for now, for as long as I can, is holding him. He is so precious, and as much as I hate that he is so sick, I love that all he wants is me... no matter how exhausting that is.

So if exhaustion leads to love in this end.. well, then as the saying goes: love is all that matters.

let the sunshine in!

2008-02-08T09:42:00.000-08:00

it is a gorgeous sunny day here in Nashville. It's very inspiring!

Emma is home today because DCA closed due to excessive flu among the students. While I think it's a good idea, when did schools start doing this? That kind of thing was a joke back when I was in school. Anyway, she's having fun with her little brother today, which is of course a help to me as Wyatt is mobile now and in need of constant watch!

Well, back to work. This house will get clean, one room at a time. Today is the kitchen makeover. It's time to rearrange, reorganize, and scrub!

Hope your day is full of...

stereotypes, sickness, and scary questions...

2008-02-06T23:18:00.000-08:00

So, there is a particular breed of people that I have decided I do not like.

Emma's school is fairly close to a Lowe's, so I will often go there after dropping her off if I need to pick up something that they carry. (by the way, their prices ARE the lowest, for everything that they carry!). It's also a good excuse to go through the Starbucks that is across the street! :)

Anyway, this puts me at Lowe's around 8am or just after. Do you know who shops at Lowe's at that hour? I'll tell ya.. all the construction worker dudes. Now, standing alone I have no problem with them. But something happens once they get inside Lowe's in the early morning. They turn into these guys who have no manners, no respect, and no social skills. It doesn't matter if you are standing in front of the stain trying to choose a shade.. if you are in front of what they need, they will push past you to get it without a single word. And when you look at them and nicely say "excuse me", they just look at you as if to say "why are you in my store right now?".

I've experienced this and similar situations a time too many. Therefore, I am coming out and publically saying that I do not like the early morning hardware store shopping construction dudes. Judge me if you must.

Thanks for letting me vent.

In other news tonight.. Abby asked us if she could get a tattoo. Not a fake, rub it on with water tattoo, but a real tattoo "just like Daddy has". Of course you can guess how Jason & I responded to that question, but Emma's response to this was "Daddy just has a tattoo cause he's a stupid boy, and you are a whitey girl". She did get in trouble for saying stupid, but wow.. where did these girls and all their thoughts and ideas come from??

And I'm finally on some antibiotics and I think they are helping. Still not great but I'd say I'm at about 60%, which is awesome considering I've been operating at about 20-30% or less for a week and 1/2 now!!

I'm looking forward to the day tomorrow. Emma & I are going to do some baking! :)

snippets...

2008-02-05T20:31:00.000-08:00

There's not really too much to share. Abby's school is having Book Fair this week. The girls & I attended family night last night, where I snapped the most perfect photo of them with Clifford the Big Red Dog, which of course Emma deleted while playing with the photos on my camera. A moment lost forever.. oh well, what are ya gonna do? Anyway, it was basically like the Children's section of Barnes & Noble dropped into the elementary school library. Abby picked out a few princess books (big shocker), Emma picked out a cookbook for kids (big shocker), and the Hoback Family donated a kids book about "living green" to the Pennington Elementary Library.

We've had horrible storms here tonight.. but they seemed to have passed us now, and quick glances out the window don't seem to show any damage. But others in our area have not faired so well... there are tornados swirling about, and destroying structures in their path. While I'm grateful for our escape, I feel for those who are at this moment staring at what has been lost.

But today had it's excitement in other ways, as it is Super Tuesday and primary voting in our state of Tennessee. Despite my recent strong interest in politics, I went into the day still not totally sure who I would vote for. The candidate I was really gung ho for (Fred Thompson) had already dropped out. So anyway, I just decided to commit it to prayer, and by the time I walked into the voting booth I felt very strongly about who the person should be, so I was able to vote with confidence. All results are not in, but the person I chose is having a VERY strong showing. It gets me really, really excited!

Jason has snapped some great photos of the kids lately. I'll end with them, to perhaps bring a smile.

Little Abby missing her front tooth!!

Emma Grace with an angelic face!

Sweet little chubby boy

Emma's cute & funny little face, and the gorgeous bruise on her forehead

"Grinning with Cheerio in mouth"

... and a few that I worked on:

I'm still sick.

2008-02-05T13:12:00.001-08:00

I thought I was getting better, then I got worse than before. I think I'm better today, but still not great. I've done the Zinc Lozenges, I've done the Goldenseal & Honey, I've done all the varied herbal organic teas, and I've done the big old psuedophedrine meds. (don't really know how you spell that). But it's just not leaving my body. I need to go to the doctor, I know this. Sigh.

I gotta go. Wyatt is chewing on a naked Barbie doll that Emma left in the living room. I think he's trying to nurse it.

YEAH GIANTS!!!

2008-02-03T19:45:00.000-08:00

So, yeah.. I'm pretty happy with the SuperBowl results!

on Saturday night, on Saturday night...

2008-02-02T20:37:00.000-08:00

So here's what is happening right now:

It's late at night Saturday night. My little girls are asleep in their beds. My hubby is out with a dude at a UFC thing. And my little man is awake, crawling around on the floor.

My house is mess, despite the fact that I worked on it today. How does this happen?? But we bought a new vacuum today (a very NEEDED purchase!) so my house will get cleaner tomorrow cause I'm excited to use it. It's not a big fancy bells & whistles one, but it's one that will do the job. And what a job it has to do in this place!

I am wondering when Wyatt will be ready to go back to sleep (he got some needed sleep from 5pm-10pm tonight.. obviously his schedule is a little screwed up). However, I am really enjoying just sitting here watching him become more mobile, exploring the world in which he lives. He has such a sweet & quiet determination about him.. it is a joy to witness.

For all those who knew how freaked out I was about having a boy - I was nothing but an idiot for that. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a little boy. I had always heard that there is something so special about a mom/son relationship, and now I get that. I just have to hope and pray that I don't turn into Marie Barone.

I just love my little "Dubya"!!!

in case anyone was wondering...

2008-02-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

.. where I stand this weekend:

GO GIANTS!

Update on little Evie Strayer..

2008-02-01T05:52:00.001-08:00

..Got this from her dad this morning:

Everything went AMAZINGLY WELL and Evie is doing great. They didn't run into any complications what so ever. Evie did really well leading to to the surgery despite the fact she had not eating at all in the morning. The doctors did not have to do a blood transfusion or put her on ventilator because the surgery itself sent well. The mass itself come out in one piece and very easily as we understand it. Evie is obviously in pain but just before I left the hospital she was starting to really come around and do some of those cute things that babies do. Melody's mom is in town and got a hotel right by the hospital last night and thus Melody was able to leave for 5 hours and got some sleep. Now that she has rested some she too is doing well. Obviously continue to keep Evie in your prayers as she recovers. Pray that the Lord would take her pain away and that the recovery would be speedy!

bits & pieces of sharing

2008-01-31T19:38:00.000-08:00

Wyatt is officially crawling. Life just went into the next level. He is so cute!! I will capture some video of it soon.

That plant I bought.. I've been doing everything as directed. But some of the leaves are starting to turn brown. Told ya.. I have a black thumb.

I think the sickness is finally moving through my body. Thank God.

I was pregnant for nine months, and I have been nursing for nine months. It's been 18 months. A year and a 1/2. I am dying for a margarita. Just needed to share that.

It might snow tonight. Or at least rain a bunch of ice. Hoping for a snow day tomorrow.

I haven't heard an update on Evie Strayer, but I will post one when I do.

And finally, the hair saga has come to an end. I chopped it all off this afternoon when I took Emma to Heads Up for a trim. I think I'm finally happy. My only regret: that if it was going to end up this short that I didn't do it in one fell swoop and donate it to Locks of Love. Just too bad it happened in 3 stages instead of one.

..and that's all she wrote.

Evie Strayer..

2008-01-31T14:35:00.001-08:00

..if you have a moment today, please pray for the beautiful baby girl, Evangeline Grace Strayer, and her parents Chris & Melody.

Evie is having a high risk surgery in Pennsylvania at Hershey Medical Center today. She is only 7 months old. The surgery will be about 3 hours long and she will be in the hospital for about a week afterwards.

My heart is sensitive to this little family and their plight today. We know all too well how this feels to be sitting in the waiting room while your child is "in there". Evie's daddy Chris has been my very dear friend for a long, long time. Please keep them in your thoughts today, if you feel so led.

thoughts on the stages of life: PART 1

2008-01-30T22:56:00.000-08:00

So, one of the things that has been at the forefront of my thoughts lately is the stages of life. In the last 10 years I’ve gone from crazy wandering the earth girl, to hard core music industry chic, to married lady, to married lady with kids, to wife & mommy with a big stressful career, to wife & mommy who walked away from the big stressful career to be at home with the kiddos full time, to, well .. that brings me to now. And I am growing into more & more of a homebody, which makes me wonder – is the crazy wandering the earth girl that I once was still in there??

In becoming more of a homebody, it has caused me to lose interest in many things that I once loved to do. I have to wonder if that is a some kind of warning sign, or me just evolving into this particular stage of my life (that requires me to be home most of the time anyway). I pose these questions quite seriously to myself though, because I'm just trying to "catch" myself before I get too deep in a mode, so deep that I don't want to get out, you know?

I have to say.. in all my thoughts, I don't really think its bad that I’m losing interest in my “interests”, or what they once were - cause I think we all go through phases where different things give us pleasure. But that being said, it is easy to get so out of the habit of doing certain things, that we forget how happy they made us. I think that sometimes it is good for me to do some of those things and remember the joy they gave me (like going to an Over the Rhine concert with Jodi!!)

I’m just trying to find the healthy balance in it all. Being who I am, still hanging on to who I was (or still am??), yet not creating pressure on myself to feel like I have to be two people.

I’m also trying to find the balance in guarding my time, my health, and my priorities. It’s so funny to me, because I feel like in the last few years all I’ve done is say “no” – yet still I have the reputation of having a problem saying no (golly, how bad was I?? how bad am I still??) :) I do feel that is it ok to not do some of the extra stuff right now, be a little more of a homebody for the sake of balance, and not feel like the fun stuff has left my life forever or that I’ve become a totally different person because of it. When the kids get older and I have some time to myself (in theory), I hope to be able to do some of the other things that I enjoy again, and not tire myself out too much. Maybe they will be the same things they once were, maybe they’ll be completely different things.

So I guess this is it: first, I must have the energy to do the family thing, and add in a little of the fun stuff as I am able. BUT if the fun stuff doesn’t happen, that’s ok… because it will happen again one day, and it does not mean that I am crawling into too big of a “life hole”, or that I am not being all that Val is/was/could be/can be.

Just spilling some thoughts here on this public forum, in the rare case that all this babble makes sense to someone else other than me. More to come.. in time! :)

on the move..

2008-01-30T12:28:00.000-08:00

it's official. Wyatt is semi-crawling. He's not up on his knees yet but he's getting around very quickly on his belly.

time to baby proof. for real baby proof that is!!

sicko

2008-01-29T11:37:00.001-08:00

This cold is really kickin' my booty today. If this is how Wyatt & Abby felt.. oh my goodness, my poor children!

That is something I always wonder. Is the amount of sick that you feel equal to the size that you are? Like, if little Wyatt was feeling as sick as I feel right now, how on earth did he ever deal with that? Or maybe this is where the term "big baby" came from. Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is right now.

Blah blah blah.. I hate the cold & flu season. I always think I'll soar through it without getting something major, and inevitably I do. Such is life.

the shallow and the mundane. and a little reality too.

2008-01-28T22:23:00.000-08:00

Well first and foremost, thanks to all who passed along their sympathies and well-wishes about my haircut drama. What great friends I have to care about my shallow and mundane issues! :) I got a little haircut "fix" tonight, otherwise known as it is now chopped back to shoulder length. I think it's something I can live with now. Oh the drama!!!

It seems that I have caught the cold that Wyatt & Abby have been down with. Colds are yucky. But this too shall pass.

Today was lovely. Jason stayed home to help take care of everything since I was feeling awful. It was really, really nice having him around.. such a treat despite my state of health. Actually, because of my state of health, it was great to have him here! I'm so lucky to have such a helpful husband! We ended up going down the road to grab some cheap eats dinner at Santa Fe Cattle Company. Going there is awesome for many reasons, but mostly because it's one of those places where you throw your peanuts on the floor, so the usual mess that the Hoback family brings is disguised. Love that. Also, had a comical moment in there.. allow me to share.

We had one of those tables that makes you feel like you're in the center of the restaurant. That's probably because we were.. in a spot where everyone could see us. So everyone in the restaurant was witness to our crazy family trying to enjoy a meal together. The real entertainment was, of course, Emma.. who had brought her baby doll "Sally" in with her and was attending to her in every way as if she was a real baby. Then she - LOUDLY - announced to the whole restaurant "I think Sally is hungry for some booby" and proceeds to pull up one side of her shirt and nurse her baby doll. Everyone in the restaurant was cracking up, including me. I'm telling you.. that girl..

In other news, Abby is doing really well in her therapy sessions these days. She has graduated to next level of therapy and her walking is incredible. We are so proud of her!! If you think of it, however, please keep her in prayer. She is having some struggles in other areas of life (I'm not quite ready to share it on this public forum, perhaps another time). She is such a sweet little gal and we are hoping we can nip these issues in the bud before they get out of control.

I had another treat today. Of course I didn't feel like doing much, and I had no shame in spending a good chunk of the day on the couch watching TV. And today happened to be a marathon day of one of my MOST favorite shows on Bravo - The West Wing. Strange & shallow as it may be, I credit this show for opening my mind to world of politics, which has now become a huge interest for me. Didn't catch the State of the Union tonight though.. the cold meds kicked in and I fell asleep pretty early. But now they have worn off and I'm awake. Hopefully they'll kick back in soon.

Well, enough of the mundane chatter for tonight. Be blessed!!

deja vu??

2008-01-27T20:37:00.000-08:00

You're probably going to look at this post and think "haven't I seen this recently?" The answer is.. yes you have. They are not the same, but they are similar.

I was emptying the digital camera tonight and found these two videos on it from yesterday. For all the relatives who love seeing the kiddos.. this double take is for you.

Here is Emma, once again telling us all about herself:

Here is Wyatt, enjoying another bath:

aerosol

2008-01-26T21:41:00.000-08:00

Ok, I was going off and I incorrectly spelled that word. For some reason I can't edit the post to correct it. But I couldn't just let it go...

hair.

2008-01-26T20:45:00.001-08:00

I need to go off about something. Thank goodness I have this blog in order to do so.

So, it's been a long week. A really, really long week! I was greatly looking forward to the haircut I was going to have this afternoon. Getting out of the house, having someone massage my head while shampooing, and then making me beautiful.

I had planned to try a new "expensive" place that came highly recommended, and I had a first time visitor coupon for the place. Normally I just head on over to the walk-in Heads Up for an economically friendly, decent haircut. And may I note: I've NEVER had a bad haircut there.

But today I headed to the big old expensive hair salon with high hopes of leaving with a new fabulous style. Six years ago shortly after I had Abby, I cut off my long, long hair and it's never been back there since. I've been working to grow it long again, but I felt like I was beginning to look like a shaggy dog. So I decided I needed a little more than just a trim. I needed some style.

I went in with a photo (which I can't post here). My expectation was for it to look like this:

Preview
..or maybe even this.

What I got was THIS:

Yeah, this chic totally gave me the Richie Sambora haircut. Actually, it doesn't even look as good as Richie's. I am so upset.

Now I will note to you that Jason thinks it looks fine, and that he thinks I'm crazy. But to me, I just feel like I have a mullet.

So, breaking away from my personality I told the lady how displeased I was. She just kept saying "it's so cute, it's so cute". Yeah, "cute" is not the word I want to describe my hair. THEN she says "let me just give it a little volume" and proceeds to poof it all up and - UGH! - mad crazy spray it with AROSAL HAIRSPRAY! - which is just gross gross gross to me. I hate hairspray.. but I really hate aresol hairspray. She only succeeded in making it look like this:

Ok, that is probably an exaggeration. But that's how I felt it looked.

I'm doing some work with it tonight. Trying a little self-highlight job. We'll see if that helps the look of it in some way. Ugh, I know it's just hair, and hair grows.. but wow.. I am so disappointed right now.

Maybe I just need to take a cue from Amy and go red. Check out how fabulous she looks!

I've only ever been blond. Maybe I should just chop it short again and go red.

On second thought, that's probably a bad idea, seeing as I have white eyebrows. I'm a white girl.

Well, that's all. Thank you to the blog world for letting me vent. I realize that I'm (yes Jason) most likely being over reactive and dramatic about this. But I had such high hopes, high hopes... hopes that are crushed for 6-12 weeks while this haircut grows out.

I'm just saying...

2008-01-25T22:13:00.000-08:00

Let's tag this as random:

I was looking through a bunch of photos today of all the presidential candidates "back in the day". This is a photo of John McCain from his soldier days.

Um, he's a hottie. Never would have guessed.

Emma Grace.. in your face

2008-01-24T12:14:00.000-08:00

Let's talk about Emma for a moment.

Today is weekday 4 that she is home with me. Monday was a holiday and Wednesday she stayed home from school.

I love my girl.. she is the bright light in my world, and truly my little buddy. But wow, am I ever ready for her to go to school tomorrow.

It's not that she's a big problem..her energy is just OVERWHELMING! I swear she has 5x the energy of most normal kids. And I just can't keep up these days.

But I am very, very aware that this is my "last year" with her. Next year she'll be in full time Kindergarten. I'm trying to make the most of this year...having the privilege of being home and able to spend this time with her. I want to take total advantage of it. But wow, sometimes I just need a break.

So, admittedly.. I'm feeling like a bit of a bad mommy today because of these thoughts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.. I know all the answers. Every mom needs a break, it doesn't mean you love your kids any less. But I'm so, so aware of this precious time with her, time that will be gone before I know it. And in so many ways, I feel like I am wasting this time. I can't keep up with her, so I let her do her thing and I do mine, just to get through the day.

I guess I just need to focus a little more on the things that she loves to do with me that I CAN handle. She LOVES to cook & bake. She loves to garden (she got the green thumb), so when it warms up again we can do some planting together. If only she had the attention span to read book after book.. cause I can do that all day! :)

Well, Wyatt is semi-mobile now, and he's almost at the new plant, so I'd better go and save the plant from the grip of little man.

stuff of the life

2008-01-23T22:57:00.000-08:00

It's been a week since I've posted. I'm in a funk. Not a bad, scary thing. Just a funk. It will pass, eventually.

Seems like Wyatt is finally sleeping through the night. Now I just need to adjust myself to a normal sleep schedule again. It's 1am, and I'm still awake expecting him to wake up famished and ready to nurse. But he's not. Knock on wood. I would go on to say something about pumping here, but I'll abstain for the sake of the male readers of this blog.

I bought a plant today for the living room. It was on sale at Kroger. Our Kroger is awesome.. it not only has a giant whole foods section, but it also has beautiful plants & flowers at a really low price. So anyway, me being the black thumb that I am (try as I may to not be) the countdown is on to see how long this plant will live.

Blah, blah, blah. Much going on in my head but not quite sure how to put it in written word yet. A big blog explosion is probably coming soon.

Time for a little change.. the look of this blog. New year, new look.. right?

Wyatt loves his baths...

2008-01-16T22:24:00.000-08:00

..oh how he loves them!

got a little catching up to do...yadda yadda yadda

2008-01-16T20:02:00.001-08:00

Lots has been happening the last few days.. just haven't really felt much like writing. If I would have written, it would have just been about nonsense, and as my sis Julie pointed out, that's not always the wisest thing to "put out there". :)

But, to all who've been wondering what we've been doing the last few days, here ya go...

Last Saturday started off with Abby's life long dream come true.. she is officially a cheerleader!! Our church has the fabulous Upward Basketball & Cheerleading program, but it doesn't begin until you are in the kindergarten, so this year was her year! Here are few quick photos that were snapped of her:

and some video.. Abby is on the far right:

..then Jason & I spent a way too long experience Saturday afternoon getting new phones and a new phone company - we are now on Verizon, and I have never been so happy to not be with Sprint anymore. Years of dropped calls and missed calls and voicemail are (hopefully) no more. And we got one of those cool, new Chocolate phones. Well, they are supposed to be cool..we're still getting used to them.

Saturday night I was able to have a girls night out at the Cheesecake Factory with my friends Renee and Karla. This night was a long time coming, and a great time indeed. At 11:30 that evening (Central Time) I received a phone call from my sister, who lives in Eastern Time. I picked up the phone and hoped that she was calling me after midnight her time to tell me that she was pregnant, and not that something was wrong within the family. Indeed it was first.. she is pregnant with baby #2. This child and his big brother Asher will be the same year 1/2 apart that Abby & Emma are. We are all very excited!!

Sunday after church (which was an amazing service) we went out to Jason's parents house, where we had a wonderful meal prepared by his dad and that afternoon I took a phenomenal nap in one of the most incredible loungers ever. Good times. We skipped church that night to go eat Mexican with Jodi and Joe.. more good times.

Then the school week began again, and it's been same old, same old. But that's not a bad thing.

My knee is still bothering me, and I haven't gone to the Dr. yet. I just don't want to deal with the hassle of going, which it is to me. It's no longer swollen, but still bruised, and it's hot (fevered), and still hurts. Hurts bad. I just hope it will go away. Maybe it will. Sigh.

..today was a lovely day. I had a chance conversation with my friend Amy that left me feeling very encouraged, and inspired. Just what I needed. (thanks Amy!!)

..and tonight, it is snowing, which makes me very excited!! Check it out:

In other news, it's a rare day that I get to see a movie right now, but there are many a movie that intrigue me. I recently found a wonderful site that is helping me past this great tragedy: The Movie Spoiler. It's fantastic, at least for me right now. Gives the whole synopsis of the movie, as well as the ending of course. Works for me, for now.

I find myself increasingly into news channels, as well as this upcoming election. More on that another time, perhaps.

There are many more things to share, but we'll call it a night. Hope you are well and happy in your world, whatever the things you may be doing that are taking up your time...

We'll end with this. I caught Emma taking a video of herself the other day. Thought it was too cute to pass up posting:

doggie mystery solved

2008-01-11T22:16:00.000-08:00

Every day since we have been home from PA, this little dog has been hanging around our house. He seems to have come from nowhere, and is ALWAYS there.. especially running around the tires as I am trying to pull in. Last night he (I'm sure it was him) got into our trash. He stood at our front door this morning barking.

Now let me say this first: I love dogs. But this is not a happy dog. And this dog is really getting on my nerves.

Then all of a sudden this afternoon.. he disappeared. And has not reappeared since. And with his constant presence, I was sure something strange must have happened to him to have just vanished that way.

Well.. I was following some links through TMZ tonight (don't judge, you have your guilty pleasures too) and found this video. this is THE DOG!!! now I know what happened... he's moved on to stalking a Bond girl. Good decision there doggie!

Video:
Famke Janssen is the gorgeous star of "Goldeneye" and "X-Men" -- so what the heck was our camera guy thinking when he focused his lens on her dog?!
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid285859616/bclid294430730/bctid1373280726

luck be a lady

2008-01-11T14:02:00.001-08:00

hoping that I got lucky with this knee thing. I woke up this morning to find that the swelling had gone down, and decided not to go the doctor. I guess I'll find out over the weekend whether or not that was a good decision. Motrin seems to be taking care of the pain. So that's that.

ok, enough of all this!!! more positive posts on the way! :)

I am an old lady...

2008-01-10T21:14:00.000-08:00

the story of my knee - you might be bored by this, but don't say I didn't warn you!

2008-01-10T20:46:00.000-08:00

while not planning to do so, I've told the story of my knee to quite a few folks today, so I might as well tell it on here.

yesterday (Wed) I had a fever all day.. freak thing. That afternoon I was preparing to take Abby to therapy (cause life still has to go on) and I stood up, picked up the baby, got lightheaded and lost my balance, then felt myself starting to fall and quickly turned so that the baby would have a cushioned fall (and still in my arms), and in doing so my left knee came fully out of it's socket. Like, it was on the SIDE of my leg!! Now, apparently this is something that can happen, and it's not all that uncommon. But it's never happened to me, and I'm telling you, a pain worse than childbirth shot through my body as I fell to the floor. I almost passed out from it but after a few seconds (that seemed like minutes) I pushed it back into it's socket, and just sat there crying. Call me a wimp but I was in serious pain. I was finally able to stand up & walk after about 10 minutes, and then had Abby's therapist look at it last night. She said to put ice on it and see a Dr. if it wasn't better by today. Well, it is still a little swollen and now bruised, and HURTS, so I guess I need to go get it checked out tomorrow. Joy joy.

So there's my story. And just to make this post a little happier, here's a cute photo of Wyatt so your reading can end in a smile!! :)

OLD i am...

2008-01-09T20:42:00.000-08:00

laying awake waiting for some cold medicine to kick in so I can get to sleep.. just discovered something that really makes me feel old. OLD.

My girls - mostly Abby - are OB-sessed with Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus. While doing a little of my super-slueth digging to find out just where in Tennessee she lives (nothing wrong with a little drive by, right?) I learned that Miley was born the year after I graduated from high school. This means that I have been out of high school longer than she has been alive. This was some sort of wake up call to me, although I don't know what kind.

Just sharing.

complaints & losses

2008-01-09T19:46:00.000-08:00

1. I'm sick. And it sucks. And yes, I'm still semi-functioning. I have to. I'm mom.

2. In addition, I hurt my knee today, and it really, really, really hurts. And it's swollen. And it sucks.

Now that I sound like an old lady.. :)

3. Last night right before we left for cheerleading practice, Abby lost her front tooth. Big event! Here's some photos:
So you know who is gonna be visiting soon (as soon as we get some cash on us!) :)

Emma sings..

2008-01-07T19:26:00.000-08:00

I just found this video that Jason took at my parents house last week. She is dressed up in her Belle costume, and she sings a song. I don't know if it will post or not.. but here's a shot.. too cute, at least in my opinion:

70

2008-01-07T19:05:00.000-08:00

It was seventy degrees here in Nashville today. The family didn't get a whole lot done.. but we had a lovely family day. Jason took the girls to the park, then we all played out in our backyard. I got a little laundry done and some cleaning here & there. The girls had a blast. We had a good day, despite not getting life all back in order.

Tomorrow it's back to the grind. Back to school for Abby, back to work for Jason, back to trying to get Emma focused and controlled :) (she goes back to school on Wed). Hoping to do some scream it out with Wyatt this week and finally get him to sleep through the night. So it'll be a big week.. we can only hope!

But we'll have the sweet memories of today! Here's a few photos...

Beating up on Daddy...Abby the happy free spirit...

All the kiddos love their Daddy!!...

daunted

2008-01-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

... it is defined as:

To repress or subdue
the courage of;
to check by fear of danger;
to cow;
to intimidate;
to dishearten.

I have so much to do here at this house I don't even know where to begin. Unpacking, laundry, organizing, cleaning, taking down Christmas stuff... the list goes on & on. I haven't accomplished much so far this morning, because I am so daunted by it all.

Just felt like confessing this to the blog world.

My super-kind husband did clean the kitchen this morning though. That was nice!

And my kids sure are cute, and I'm having a lot of fun with them today! Wyatt is shimmy-ing around the floor on his belly.. I think he's going to get the hang of crawling pretty soon. He's now pulling all of his diapers out of the basket, but he's so delighted with it I don't have the heart to stop him. Emma is running around in a cheerleader costume, wreaking havoc everywhere. Why should I expect anything else from her? She was body slamming Abby for a while this morning. What am I gonna do with this child?? But she sure is cute, and a lot of fun. Abby is being sweet, working hard at little projects so she can get stars on the Star Chart. (the girls get stars everytime they willingly help with a chore. Once they get 10 stars, they get to go to the Disney store and pick out something for $10).

Guess I need to follow Abby's lead. Why don't adults have a Star Chart?

Well, I'm off to try to find some sort of motivation I guess...

just for Amy..

2008-01-06T19:40:00.000-08:00

This post is specifically for my dear friend Amy, who told me that she's needing a blog post from me to make her week complete. Awww.. how sweet. Little does she know that all my blogging is totally self serving to me. ha ha!

This is Amy with her hubby Josh. Isn't she gorgeous?? :) And she's lucky enough to get to live in Colorado!! (see the gorgeous background). I think this photo of them is exceptionally incredible, so of course I must include it this post that is especially for her!
I'm at this moment watching my new fav guilty pleasure movie.. The Wedding Date, which happens to be on TV tonite. Please don't judge. You know you have your favorites too. I've lit candles to soothe my spirit amidst this house of chaos, that will get my attention tomorrow. Not tonight. There is a moth flying around the living room that we can't get rid of. Emma is so happy about it.. she thinks we have a pet butterfly.

Just got a home from a big long trip to PA. Exhausted. Excited. Excited to start 2008. We're only 6 days in and there are already some pretty heavy things that we are facing as a family.... (perhaps more on that at another time). But I'm determined to not let it get the best of me, as I did with the heavy things of 2007. By the end of the year, I was spent.. so spent I could hardly function. I was living in what my friend Victoria calls "survival mode", and barely at that. I took off to PA, made sure I did nothing but rest (even despite the string of sickness that hit our family up there), and have come back determined to start fresh and start living the way I want to be living, and should be living.. and not let everything that is going on totally exhaust me. It is the neverending search for balance in my life. Perhaps in 2008 I can succeed, just a little bit more. Or a lot. That would be cool.

Ok, well obviously with all this babble it's evident how exhausted I am. Time for my nightly bath (back in my wonderful tub.. ah the joys of home!) and then to bed (back in my wonderful bed.. ah the joys of home!)

Hope you enjoyed my babble Amy.. :) Here's some pretty pictures I picked out just for you. Memories of our friendship ...

brown paper packages tied up with string...

2007-12-24T21:14:00.000-08:00

..these indeed are a few of my favorite things! (though nothing that is wrapped up appeared on my "favorite things" list a few weeks ago.. ha ha!!)

I know this is not what the season is all about, but I can't help but be - here on the night before Christmas - so excited for Christmas morning. The girls are so excited, and I just can't wait to see them come morning. We're all ready!

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care...

..and "St. Nickolas" has already been here :

..and speaking of the real meaning of Christmas, we were so blessed to have a new addition to our Christmas decor this year - my grandmother's Nativity set. This was very, very special to me to be able to have this.

I never did finish off the tree this year.. it stayed just as the girls had decorated it. And that's just way ok for this year.. they feel so happy about that.

Well.. just a few more hours now!!! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!!!

crack.

2007-12-24T13:27:00.000-08:00

.. that's what the girls are acting like they are on. It's Christmas Eve, and in addition to being completely wound up & crazy, they are walking about singing "Santa's coming tonight tonight, Santa's coming tonight". Abby keeps asking me when the sun is going to set, because that means it's soon time for bed and then they can go to sleep and Santa will come and it will be Christmas. Is there ANY other night of the year that they are EXCITED to go to bed??

We had a Christmas gathering with Jason's mom's side of the family the other day. Here is Wyatt opening his first Christmas present ever!!

It was a baby drum. He LOVES it!Here is Abby & Mommy at the gathering:

Here is Daddy & Emma w/ a dirty face at the gathering:

And here is Wyatt today, laughing at the girls who are on crack. Ya know.

We're headed to the Christmas Eve service at our church in a couple of hours. REALLY looking forward to that. That is one of MY favorite Christmas traditions .. a Christmas Eve service. It just seems to take all of the craziness of it and put it all back in perspective.. sing the carols, hear the story of Christ's birth.. love it.

The other night the girls & I watched the movie "The Nativity Story". It may have been a little too much for them - at some parts - but overall they enjoyed it, and liked watching the story of Mary & Joseph, and seeing baby Jesus being born. Hopefully that will be a yearly tradition.. as much as The Grinch is in this house!!

So, Santa's comin' tonight!! :)

it's the hap - happiest season of all...

2007-12-20T20:56:00.000-08:00

Tonight was one of the things I love about this season - the CHRISTMAS PARTIES!!! We had our Sunday School class gathering tonight at the home of our friends Mark & Jessica. We are blessed to be in an amazing church and part of a great class with super cool people... so we had a bundle of fun. Good times, what else can I say?

That's all for tonight.. hope you are having a happy season wherever you are.

me & my girl gang...

2007-12-19T23:38:00.000-08:00

Here are some of my favorite pics of me and my little girls:
Abigail Faith
&
Emma Grace

I saw Mommy kissing Abby..
Emma & Mommy have a little cuddle & a smile...

Sweet Abby shows just how much she loves her Mommy..

Mommy & Emma get their close up!...

out with it.

2007-12-19T23:01:00.000-08:00

I had told myself that I would not make this blog about imposing my opinions on others, but after the last few posts I guess I've already crushed that. And I have to say this.. I HAVE to say this. I've got two little girls, and don't you think this isn't in the front of my mind right now.. it so is!!!

You're living under a rock if you don't know by now that little 16 year old Jamie Lynn Spears, Nickelodeon star and sister of Britney, is pregnant. The news is covering it like mad.. and offering all kinds of opinions, "helpful" thoughts, and talk of.. oh my gosh, is the media allowed to say these things.. TALKING ABOUT CONSEQUENCES TO YOUR ACTIONS!!

And here's the biggest kicker, that I am so totally in love with in all this: not since the Josh McDowell conference I went to in high school have I heard the word "abstinence" and the thoughts that "pre-marital sex with teens is dangerous" so much. I've been watching news stories about it all night, and those things have been mentioned a total of 8 times. Have we ever even heard those words from the media before??? This is astounding!

You know.. it just goes back to my point of the last blog.. I think God has a purpose in everything. IN EVERYTHING!!!! And He is always in control. I totally believe this.

..stepping down off of the soapbox for tonight. sometimes I just can't help myself. I am, after all, the daughter of a (PT) preacher man! :)

thoughts from a flick.

2007-12-19T19:43:00.001-08:00

warning: I get preachy in this one.. :)
mood: sad. thoughtful. grateful.
reason: watching the end of Cast Away..

...you know the end of the movie, when Chuck (Tom Hanks) is rescued, and comes home to find that his great love Kelly (Helen Hunt) has finally succumbed to what everyone wanted her to believe - that he was dead - and she has married another (Mr. Big AKA Chris Noth) and has a daughter and a new life and, well.. she has moved on. But then Chuck, the love of her life, shows up alive. And she is torn between two worlds. And Chuck is torn between two feelings - the love he has for her, and doing what he knows is right - letting her go so she can live the life that she moved on to.

I've seen this movie a few times, and this series of scenes grips me every time. Of course Jason & I have had the "what if" conversation. I was lucky enough to be able to marry the love of my life... my soul's true mate. But what if something like that happened to us? Could I ever move on? And if I did, I can't fathom NOT going back to Jason if he "came back to life". What's the right thing to do? What would God's plan and will possibly be in that situation?

It leads me back to the whole concept of things you can't control.. God allowing things in your life that don't make any sense, that are hard to understand. How do you seek to find the answers you need as a human to get through those times?

I love what Chuck (Tom Hanks) says at the end - his answer to this question of what do you do, how do you go on?: "you gotta keep breathing, because tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide could bring"..

It is the beautiful answer to how God's plans are bigger than ours. We can't always see or understand what He is doing, but He always has our best in mind in each situation if we are willing to follow Him. It is our job to trust this, and to keep breathing and wait and see what the tide is going to bring for us.

So, I'm sad.. because this scene always makes me sad. I'm thoughtful, because it has led me to all these thoughts. And I'm grateful, for the place of answers these thoughts have brought me to.

A few years ago I had the pleasure of getting to know Lari White, who plays the chic at the end that Tom Hanks delivers the package to. We, of course, had a conversation about this scene and she was more than certain that she & Hanks went on to become acquainted with one another. It's a neat little Hollywood ending that we all want to believe in, and God wants us to believe in those Hollywood endings too.. that's what He desires for us!
That said.. I really hope I never lose my beloved Jason. I swear he's the only person on the planet who can put up me and all my issues. As they say here in the South.. God Bless 'Im!!!

comfort and joy: a week in review

2007-12-17T20:09:00.000-08:00

Jason remarked to me this evening that I haven't blogged in a week. I was actually quite aware of this fact, but thought that to appease him (apparently he likes these things) I would break my recent evening routines of not blogging and doing various comfort things and, well, blog. So here goes:

I'm in my glory tonight.. I'm a big history buff (call me a dork if you must) and on the History Channel right now is a series called "History Rocks". It's kind of like Pop Up Video (remember that on VH1??) for history. Good stuff. Check it out if you happen to be a buff too. Or even if you aren't.

Last Tuesday night I had the extreme pleasure of going to see my favorite band, Over the Rhine, (see photo to the left) in concert. I went with my BFF Jodi, who had actually won free tickets to the event.. love that. More than the concert - which was incredible - I had a lovely time just being with my dear friend. She is SO much fun (doesn't she look like it??.. she's gonna kill me for putting that photo on here of her!!) Time with her is like a breath of fresh air, and we were able to sit and talk and talk after we got home from the show. The night was all pure joy.

Wednesday found a day filled with Emma's Christmas party at preschool - which is done up as "the Birthday party for Jesus!". I spent the morning running around getting everything ready for the party.. and then the party happened in a flash. It was a lot of fun. And after that, Emma was officially on Holiday Break until January, and my day to day life is forever changed - until January.

Then came Thursday, which was a day of joy. Emma's BFF Corinna (pictured here in fabulous lipstick) was over for the day - we had SO much, I just love that girl - and then we had Jason's bank Christmas party that night at a favorite Japanese restaurant here - Sakura. Good times indeed!! Jason works with such lovely people!

Friday became Black Friday. No, not a day of shopping like a mad person. But the black of sickness. Jason came down with what we later learned was an extremely bad case of strep. The infection had him sicker than I've ever seen him.. and let me tell ya, my boy has been sick before, but not like this!! He was finally able to actually get out of bed on Sunday afternoon.. so put two & two together on how the weekend was for the kids & I. We survived! :) He's starting to do a little better. Just hoping & praying that none of the rest of us catch it!!

So last night I did 95% of my Christmas shopping. Me & my laptop had a lovely shopping experience, and I praise the wonder of online shopping. No stress, interesting finds, great deals. Just a few things left to get and I can call check that off.

Well, are you bored yet? See, this is why I haven't blogged. Not too much to share right now I guess. The kids are great - I guess I could do a little update on each of them.

Wyatt is now sitting up and has a blast playing with the girls - he just sits and lets them entertain him, and he eats up every bit of it. He also really loves his baths... he could sit in the tub and splash for hours if we'd let him. I'll have to post a video of that soon.

Emma is loving being home all the time and destroying the house/entertaining us all. She's a bundle of life & excitement.. our home and family would not be the same without her. (it would be incredibly boring and clean.) She is SO creative and so smart. She brings something new to living every single day. I just can't wait to see what becomes of her.

Abby is just doing her thing, and being amazing in it all. She is such a beautiful and sweet little gal, and is having a lot of fun in her school making friends and learning. She "sounds out" every single word now, and is making great strides in learning how to read. We got her some Dick & Jane books for Christmas.. I think she's gonna have a lot of fun with them and it's really going to give her great confidence in reading.

Jason & I are doing just grand (aside from his sickness) - we are blessed beyond comprehension amidst various struggles. No matter what is happening, there is always something to thank our God for.

My fibromyalgia has been particularly bad lately, so I've taken to a nightly routine of sitting on a heated back cushion, soaking my feet, taking a hot bath, and drinking chamomile tea. Jason thinks I'm like an old person (no offense to our beloved elderly fellow humans). I think I'm just enjoying some special comforts of life.

So that's all for now. This is what us Hobacks have been up to lately.. for those who were wondering. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good week... hopefully I'll be on here again soon. :)

And now.. random picture time. That's right, there are still more pics comin' at ya... :

Wyatt and cousin Kaylee
Memories of October 1, 2007 "The Day I Hit Dean Jones"
So here ya go.. this is what I did to our van... nice, eh??
This is the turkey that Jason & I cooked for Thanksgiving.. a big 22 pounder!
I believe it looked a lot better in person than it does in the photo, and tasted good too!
Here's a photo of Abby not wanting to have her picture taken by Emma.
I just thought it was funny..
Here is Emma with our Christmas tree.. pre-decorations..
A few weeks ago we had the pleasure of visiting with Jason's grandmother..a wonderful woman!!

Here she is with all three kiddos...
Grandmother with Abby. They have a very special relationship..
Grandmother with Wyatt.. I will cherish this photo for all time!!!
And now.. some recent photos of our little Wyatt.
Actually, he's not so little... he's one big boy!
(all photos by Emma - not bad, eh??)

these are a few of my favorite things...

2007-12-10T20:27:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, Oprah did her annual "Favorite Things" show. This show just makes me laugh, for so many reasons. First of all, the way people just go out of their minds nuts, just totally cracks me up!! Although I probably would too if I were actually THERE and getting all of those things.

The other thing that makes me just laugh is how outrageously priced these things are. As if us "regular people" - that is, anyone other than Oprah the billionaire (and a few others), could actually afford to go out and get these incredible things that she features.

Today I got a look at the 2007 List as it came to me in a "Christmas Shopping List" email. What a joke! (Although there are two things on her list this year that I would truly LOVE to have - UGG® Australia Classic Crochet Tall Boot and the The Artisan® Stand Mixer from KitchenAid - hint hint Jason .. ha ha!!) :)

Anyway, it got me thinking about what my "Favorite Things" list would be. And by that I mean the practical, reality-based, everyday kind of favorite things list for real people like you & me. So I made my list, and here is what I came up with. I thought I'd share it with you all...
(and yes, there are many references to cleaning items on this list. that is because I live with Emma, and two other children.) Here they are, in alphabetical order:

Aunt Jemima Frozen French toast: I try to get myself a good, decent breakfast (whole grain toast, yogurt, egg, etc.).. but one of my favorite indulgences for breakfast - and really anytime - is french toast. Now I have, for the most part, become a "make it from scratch" kind of person. However, mornings are one heck of a busy time around the house, and most days I'm lucky to squeeze in my breakfast (unless I wake up early.. and have ya met me? that doesn't happen!). So, my friend Aunt Jemima has done the french toast work for me already, and all I have to do is pop it in the toaster. Add a bit of honey, and I've got my comfort food breakfast instantly!

Bounty Paper Towels: Some people are brand specific, and when it comes to paper towels, I will accept none other than Bounty. We use them for pretty much anything you can think of in our home, and not only are they truly the "quicker picker upper", but they are strong and efficient. To me, there is no other paper towel beyond Bounty. I accept no substitutes.

Brown Paper Wrap (recycled): This to me is one of the best things to have on hand. For about $1, you can buy a recycled roll of brown paper wrap that can be used for so many things - covering a book, wrapping a gift, laying it out over the table to protect it while you do projects there, art projects.. the list is endless. And here is the best part about this paper.. when you are through with it, it can be RECYCLED AGAIN!!!! Love it!

Burts Bees Products: Everything that this all natural company makes not only feels great and works great, but it's totally reasonably priced and it's easy to find. They makes items for adults, babies, and children.. and it's made from all natural ingredients so you never have to worry or be curious about what you're exposing your body too.

Caribou Coffee: This is my favorite coffee in the world. It tastes like high end coffee with having the price tag of expensive coffee. And it's all organic!

Diet Coke Plus: It's no secret that I'm a Diet Coke addict. If I'm going to drink the awful stuff, it might as well have something good that it can give me. Kudos to the Coca-Cola Company for recognizing this and creating a Diet Coke that includes iron and lots of B vitamins in it!!

Glade Candles – Clean Linen Scent: Inexpensive little candles that look nice (the labels come off VERY easily and they look like a lovely votive) but they burn for quite a long time too. Clean Linen is my favorite scent.. it just makes everything smell fresh & clean! (so fresh and so clean clean...)

Huggies Shea Butter Baby Wipes: Baby wipes are for more than wiping butts in our house, they serve many purposes. Huggies makes non toxic wipes, which means you can wipe hands & faces with them without it hurting or poisoning anything. If you need to do a "quick clean" of anything, these are the wipes to use. The Shea Butter scent is very mild and very clean smelling. They are great for removing makeup too!

Magic Eraser by Mr. Clean: Hands down one of the best inventions EVER! This Magic Eraser will clean up pretty much anything - even a Sharpie on the wall or anywhere else! No house should be without these for getting out the things surely happen wherever humans live. Be warned though - they contain no actual cleaning agents in them!

Oxi Clean: This stuff will very nearly get out any stain in clothing, will bleach & clean counters and floors in a way that regular bleach cannot, and will never cause anything to fade or run. Love this stuff!

Shout Wipes: I used to think that the Tide Pen was the be all end all for getting up those unexpected stains on the spot, till I learned the hard way that the Tide Pen will go bad if you don't use it right away, and when it goes bad it smells like HORRIBLE vomit! So I have discovered the Shout Wipes, which do just as good of a job but don't go bad and smell awful!

Vaseline Intensive Care Foaming Bath – Gentle Breeze: My favorite thing to do at the end of the day is take a hot bath, and foaming bath (scent Gentle Breeze) is inexpensive, is not greasy or soapy, and is exactly what you would think "clean" smells like. It's very refreshing and soothing all in one.

.... so there you have it, a few of my favorite things. As Oprah wants us to live our best life by introducing us to all her overpriced favorite things, perhaps something on my practical favorite things list will help you to find a way to life your best life in the real world!!!!

flying semi-solo

2007-12-07T18:47:00.000-08:00

not really solo.. the house just feels a little empty tonight. not in a bad way. just me, the hubby, and the baby boy tonight.. and the baby & the hubby have gone night-night. it's beautifully calm.

Abby is spending the night with her friend Tinsley, Emma went to a movie and Dave & Buster's with BFF Corinna (look at those little cuties.. I just love their great friendship) and her family, and is then spending the night with her. I was supposed to be joining some friends for a little girls night out/play time over at the Opryland Hotel tonight, but I hurt my back today (weird, freak thing) and it's just become worse & worse.. so I stayed in. Thank goodness my friend Michelle brought me some real drugs... the Motrin just wasn't cutting it. So I'm curled up on my couch, feeling better, feeling happy, feeling peaceful.

Just very happy that everyone in my little family is where they want to be right now (that includes Jason who is in our bed).. and very happy being there. Fun for all. Happy, happy.. joy, joy. :)

welcome to the (control) freak show...

2007-12-06T20:31:00.000-08:00

I'm quite consumed right now with a situation I can't control. It's something that instinct would make me think I need to control it, change it, fix it. But I can't, I must not.

I like to think that I'm not a control freak, but that is self hope of wishful thinking because the truth is.. my first tendency in anything is to be the controller. I like to control situations and have things my way - or the way I think is the right way - and I can tend to freak out when it doesn't happen like that. As I grow older I realize that there is no happy ever after for every situation, sometimes things go horrible and there is nothing you can do about it, except to accept your hurt and move on. I'm in a situation like that now, and I really wish there was a way that I could slap a band-aid on it and turn the other way and get on with life. And by doing that, I would "fix" the situation, and thereby control it.

But this time, I cannot be in control of the band-aid. I must let my God be in control of it, more than anything else before in my life. But oh, my instinct is so strong to try and handle it all myself. But in doing so, I will disrupt what my Lord is doing, in my life and the in this situation. It is so hard not to worry though, worry that it will not have the outcome I think it should have. It is very hard to exercise my restraint.

I looked up the word "control" in the dictionary. I thought it interesting that the first two definitions were:
1. to exercise restraint
2. to hold in check

.. isn't doing those things the exact OPPOSITE of control? What an interesting concept. The very things I need to do - hold back, keep myself in check - are what I the controller am having a hard time doing. Have we had the meaning of control wrong all along?

Freak that I am...

I also looked up the word "freak". Again, I found it completely interesting and compelling that the first definition was:
1. any abnormal phenomenon

For me to not try and control this situation is completely an abnormal phenomenon.

I am just struck by all this irony. I am trying so hard to not be a control freak about this ordeal, but in fact that is exactly what I need be. I need to exercise the abnormal phenomenon for me by exercising restraint and holding myself in control.

So, what is the best way for me to be a control freak about this? There is only one answer:
I must do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God. I MUST WALK HUMBLY WITH MY GOD THROUGH THIS. And pray.

For you the reader, this was probably one wordy and confusing post. But it helped me to write down all this jumbled babble. So, thanks for bearing with me...

it's the most wonderful time of the year

2007-12-04T20:29:00.000-08:00

... those exact words came to my mind today as I was reflecting on all that this season holds. We had a lovely Thanksgiving, I felt truly thankful for all that I have been blessed with. No matter how much grumbling and complaining I seem to do during the day, I don't think there is a single night that I don't go to bed thankful for the incredibly warm and comfortable bed that I get to go to, knowing that there are far too many in the world that don't have that. Lately, I've just really felt so fortunate for all that I HAVE - it is far too easy to get caught up in what I don't have, but I've been really caught up and thankful in what I am oh so blessed with.

So, I just love that a holiday of Thankfulness leads into a holiday of giving - and yes, receiving. I'm having so much fun this year with the girls.. planning out what they want "Santa" to bring (yeah, we do the Santa thing... they think that Jason & I are friends and in kahootz with Santa, etc.) - but more fun is planning the things they want to give to others. We are doing a bunch of giving projects with them, and they are just getting so into it all.. I love it!

Another thing they love is decorating the Christmas tree. What we end up doing with them is letting them put all the ornaments on the tree (which of course, they are all from the bottom 1/2 down) and I come back later and actually arrange all the ornaments. Well, out of admitted laziness on my part, I have not arranged the ornaments yet.. they are still as they were when the girls decorated, and they seem to just be eating that up. Of course, I will eventually "fix" the tree.. but I'm kind of soaking up how much they love the way the tree looks right now, the way THEY did it!

And I'm excited to see how Wyatt will begin to fit it and be excited about these things as he gets older. His exersaucer is right across from our Christmas tree, and quite a few times now I've caught him just staring at the tree with a huge smile on his face. Too cute!!

There are so many things about this season that I love. It's probably the only time of the year that commercials make me cry (as I believe they are intended to). There are always beautiful decorations to see everywhere you go. It all just makes me happy. Stress be gone! :)

So to me.. this truly is the most wonderful time of the year. (now, let's see if I'm still saying that 3 weeks from now when I haven't finished Christmas shopping.. ha ha!!) :)

seven.

2007-12-03T21:58:00.000-08:00

George Castanza was right.. Seven is a great name for a child.

Well, today - December 3rd, Jason & I "officially" celebrate 7 years of marriage. On this day in the last month of the year 2000, we had our wedding at the lovely Shadowbrook Inn nestled in the hills of Middle TN. What a perfect day it was. We both had friends come from near, and more friends from very, very far - to experience this special event with us. I will never forget that. If you are one of those people reading this - please know how very much it meant to have you at our wedding. I am still to this day humbled and thankful to those of you who were there.
Not only that, but another good memory of that day was the weather! It had snowed that morning, and by our afternoon wedding time the sun was out, the roads were clear, but the temp was at a perfect standstill allowing a beautiful blanket of white to cover all the land. It could not have looked more wonderful. Jason & I both felt as if God was smiling on our marriage, and our life together.

Seven years down the road.. well, I can't say that I have always felt a smile in our marriage. Truth be told, there has been a lot of heartache. But there has also been a lot of joy. And sitting here tonight, looking back on these years... I think of the joy. Truly unending joy, which I know will continue.

Jason & I had a beautiful fresh start to our marriage a few years ago, and we're trying to do things we have never done before that keep our relationship fresh, special, and exciting. So this year, for the first time.. I think EVER.. we exchanged anniversary gifts with each other. We were like 2 kids on Christmas morning with the anticipation of the giving. It was truly a lot of fun. I gave Jason, my avid reader, an assortment of book-type items.. all that had a significance to our relationship in some way. And he, knowing me so well, gave me the food processor I have been longing for - for quite a long time! Yes, some women would put their husband in the doghouse for buying them an appliance on their anniversary. I praise my husband for knowing me and the practical gal that I am, and giving me something that I not only really want but that can have a useful purpose. Here's my thing: romance should be in the every day, not in the once or twice a year on a holiday or anniversary. If we - who live on a tight budget - are going to spend our money on something for each other, let's make it practical in some way. At least, for right now in life. :)

My beloved Jason: I wish you the best anniversary a wife can wish her husband. We've had our ups & downs but our love has not only stayed strong, it has grown - deeper and fuller. Thank you for your pure love for me that never has strings attached. I love you, my dear husband. You are truly my most special gift.

Ahh Memories.. Photo of us, circa 2001...

all is calm, all is bright

2007-11-28T21:49:00.000-08:00

I've been silent lately. Everything is fine, just haven't felt much like writing. I keep thinking of things to write, but don't. I need to do that soon. I guess I'm trying to get past a couple of events coming up this weekend.

I'll get back to my chatty self soon I guess... loving the weather these days. Are you?.. wherever in the world you are??

Oh yeah.. still obsessed with the South Pole. :) - even with that cruise ship accident that happened last week. Yeah, that's still my current plan on how I'll get to see Antarctica someday!

healthy alpha. guilty pleasure omega. sorta :)

2007-11-20T19:42:00.000-08:00

well, tonight was the end of a guilty pleasure for me. I am very sad, but part of me can't believe that I am so sad over something that really doesn't matter. It's the end of a short era.

This year, for the first time EVER, I began watching (oh, how dare I admit it) - Dancing with the Stars. I did it because a person that I just heart, I think she is just precious - was on it this season. The lovely Jennie Garth, of 90210 fame. And I watched her dance week after week, and voted for her religiously. But tonight my faithful votes were not enough.. she was voted off. She will not be going to the finals, she will not be winning. And therefore, I will no longer be watching. And I am sad. Not sad that I won't be watching, but that all her hard work did not get her to the end. Sigh. Oh well, such is life. My guilty pleasure omega.

Speaking of TV.. it's no secret that I love the show "Jon & Kate Plus 8". Luckily this came on right after my Dancing with the Stars sadness (while I was also accomplishing things in my living room, so that was encouraging too.. to be accomplishing). I love to watch this show for mainly two reasons:
1. Jon is cynically funny. He reminds me of my husband! :)
2. I am fascinated with Kate, and how she handles herself, her life, her household with all
those kids.. and how she is able to do the things that I try to do. She has 8 and does it.
I have 3. There has got to be a way...

One of the major things is that she feeds her family almost totally organically. She finds a way to afford it on a tight budget, and she's completely concerned with the health and well being of her children, and what goes into their bodies.

I'm making baby steps in this area. If I just keep trying, I'm hoping I'll be able to figure it out. So anyway, today's episode found Kate hanging out with Sara Snow, organic living expert. No, she's not a crazy tree hugger. She just teaches people how to live a natural & healthy lifestyle. (She has an incredible show on Discovery Health called "Get Fresh").

All this to say, I learned a lot on today's episode of "J&K+8" about more steps I can take to helping my family live green, and respect the world in which they live, without stressing the budget and without spending 3 hours in the kitchen every night. I'm really excited to start incorporating some of these things into our lifestyle.. hopefully sooner than later. My healthy alpha (beginning).

"Green living is a process. For most people, it doesn't happen overnight - and that's ok! Start small and work your way up to living a natural lifestyle" - Sara Snow

it's my party and I'll cry if I want to..

2007-11-19T21:38:00.001-08:00

..what do you get when you put 8 girls, 2 tired moms, and an infant together at a bowling alley?

some tears, yes. it's inevitable. but mostly you get one heck of a good time!!

we finally celebrated Abby's birthday with her friends on Monday. What we would do for her party took on a few forms, and came to fruition as a combined birthday party at a bowling alley and Pizza Hut (Abby's favorite pizza). We joined forces with our friends Victoria & Ethan's girls - they have 6 girls in all!!! (and each one so beautiful!!) We were specifically celebrating birthdays for 3 of the 8 girls present. Bowling was insanely crazy, but it was also a lot of fun. We are so thankful to have great friends who help to give our kids such incredible times, simply by letting us be with them!!

Here's a few photos from the "event":

Abby and her big yellow bowling ball

Abby in action

Christiana & Abby

Abby & Chloe

Christiana hangs out with Wyatt

Emma & BFF Corinna strike a pose

Line up waiting for the balls to come out
(L-R: Emma, Abby, Chloe, Christiana)

Abby just loves the big yellow bowling ball

Ethan hangs with Wyatt at Pizza Hut
Emma & Corinna enjoying birthday cake

Wyatt starts rebelling early...

2007-11-19T21:34:00.000-08:00

I found Wyatt asleep like this yesterday..

.. I'm just sayin'....

Autumn. Fall.

2007-11-14T19:31:00.000-08:00

HMMMMM......

lots I've been thinking about this week. lots I've been wanting to write about. don't have my thoughts fully formed yet, so for now.. I stay silent. I'm sure the "explosion" is not far off...

It's finally become beautiful here, my favorite time of year in Tennessee. Autumn. Fall. Why is it called both? When the English settlers came over to America way back when, they somehow changed the word for the season of "autumn" to "fall". Both stuck. Betcha didn't know that, eh? Maybe you did, and now you're totally unimpressed.

But let me tell you what I'm impressed with: the leaves have FINALLY turned colors, and boy was it worth the wait this year. They somehow seem more brilliantly colored than ever. Deep reds, rich oranges, shining yellows. Many trees have already shed their leaves, but there is an artistic beauty about seeing a brilliantly colored tree behind and bare-branched, dark brown one. I just love being outside, driving around, seeing it all. Even in the downpour of rain we've been having, I love it. It makes it all the more brilliant.

And the tree outside my living room has turned a beautiful yellow. I didn't take the best photo, but here's a little taste... :) Trust me, it's beautiful!

obsessive help

2007-11-12T22:18:00.000-08:00

I'm completely fascinated with the South Pole and everything that goes on there. Can't seem to tear myself away from it.

Anyone know a cure for an obsessive addiction? Just wondering...

So of course I won't bore the blog readers with all the info, but if you are interested.. check out this link:
http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/research/1798842.html?page=2